Kitsune Ga Gotoku: Like A Fox
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Narutoverse AU. Naruto Uzumaki, yakuza and chairman of basically all of Japan, gets a message he quite doesn't like from the West from a group called The Light. What's a yakuza to do but solve things with his own fists? Warning: NaruHina, and ridiculous storytelling done for the sake of mindless fun. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Use of Naruto Gaiden universe.
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING

This was made out of love for the Ryu Ga Gotoku franchise, better known as Yakuza out of Japan. But why choose these two franchises? Well, I'm a sucker for both, sue me and I still won't give a damn.

 **IMPORTANT NOTE** : This is set after the ending of the first season but before the second.

 **SECOND NOTE** : This fic was made to be stupid, mindless fun. If you want depth, a thought-provoking narrative, or something that isn't cheesy and ridiculous action scenes made just for the sake of having a good laugh then get out. Then again, I expect someone to flame this fic because of the mentioned reasons by ignoring the tag labeled "humor/adventure" just to complain.

And if you want to complain about the pairing: you were warned, chums. If you just want to flame this fic because you don't like my choice in pairings… what're you doing wasting your life like that? Seriously, just drop your computer and look for another story or write whatever you like. I like what I like and do what I want without harming anyone. But I still expect flamers because, well, some readers just feel like they need to vent out or something.

 **FINAL NOTE** : This is a Naruto-verse AU in which the entire cast are yakuza, as in Japanese gangsters, and Naruto's an Oyabun, which means he's the big boss. Think of canon Naruto done well in a modern setting. Then again, this is for mindless fun, so don't think too much into things. Just enjoy this stupidly dumb story made for the sake of me getting some laughs out or get out.

Anyway, characters here are in their post-Shippuden looks, so, yes, this is adult Naruto who I swear to the gods of fan-service Kishimoto only designed to make fan girls weak on the knees. I mean, one of my female otaku friends basically gushed from every orifice when I mentioned his new look.

 **XXXXXX**

Big boss in a big city  


"I just don't get it, boss! I mean, I gave her love, care, and everything I have. Is it the burgers I eat, or perhaps my choice in chips?!"

"Chouji, you're my friend so let me be blunt: you're worrying over nothing. Whatever issue she has-"

"But what if she's right, Naruto?!"

Two men, both clearly around their thirties, talked in the neon-lit streets of a Japanese city, both dressed like it was the seventies there. The two sat at a table outside a fast food restaurant. One man ordered a simple milkshake, he was blond with short spiky hair, of average size, and very strong judging by his lean but muscular built. He was dressed in a suit that made it so obvious he was a gangster, a yakuza, that it would feel insulting for people that if he attempted to hide the fact he was one. He wore a black business coat, matching black dress pants, black dress shoes with steel-toe guards, and an orange button-up shirt with golden chains printed into it. And, hidden from view in his coat, was a wakizashi, a short katana sword with no guard and a black handle and a matching sheath. Said sheath had sunflowers painted on it.

The second man was far more big-boned (not morbidly obese but still chunky enough to make his chair creak a bit when he sat down), but had more than a fair amount of muscle built on his anaconda-like arms. He had brown messy hair running own to his waist, a beard, weird red spiral marks on each cheek, and a friendly face. He also had a bag of chips at hand, for some odd reason, 24/7 too. He wore a red business coat over a green t-shirt, had matching red slacks, and wore simple sandals. To many people it'd be odd to see such a man accompanying a yakuza, but they talked with smiles on their faces.

Or a deadpan in the blond man's face after hearing the last statement which he countered with his own: "She has her mother's face, skin, hair, and eyes along your build. If that isn't your daughter then I'm a cop."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, boss." The portly man, Chouji, thanked with a smile.

The blond man groaned at the last word, "Drop the boss thing. It was cool the first time, but now that I know I have to work… Ugh, I get sick of my own damn signature after the first stack of paperwork." He scratched the back of his head, "Honestly, you'd think this job would be easy, but no, even I got to do paperwork."

The chubby man happily munched on some chips accompanied by French fries in one hand, "Sucks to be you then, Naruto." He then chuckled, "Anyway, what do you think I should do?"

"Talk things over with her." Naruto shrugged, "I can't say much else. You are her father, we're both fathers…" he sighed at the last word and looked up into the sky, "Life is never easy, is it?"

Chouji grinned after taking a big bite out of his burger, "You just have to keep trying. That's how you got to be where you are."

Naruto grinned back, "That should be my line."

Just then a black limo parked itself before the two men, and from it a lanky figure stepped out. It was a man dressed in a fain green business coat and dress pants, with brown shoes, a black button-up shirt, and facial expressions that didn't seem to reach any emotion. He black had his hair done in a spiky ponytail and a goatee, and for what seemed like a first he rushed out of the vehicle to do something hastily. His appearance screamed lazy, so the way he moved screamed urgency.

"I got a call, from The Light again." The green suited man said sharply.

Naruto arched a brow, "Why didn't you hang then, Shikamaru? We made it clear we don't want to deal with them, no matter how much they pay."

The ponytailed man groaned, "It is one of those deals we promised not to make as yakuza."

Naruto's eyes widened and he wasted not a single instant to get into the limo.

A call, a broken phone crushed by a single hand gripping it too tightly, and a flight to another continent later, and the blond man was ready for anything while still in his seventies disco suit.

XXXXXX

Meanwhile at the country that was the whiskered man's destination, seven figures stood at a large business table, or rather one figure and his assistant along six screens that showed the faces of their comrades in arms. The villains known as Lex Luthor, The Brain, Queen Bee, Klarion the Witch Boy, Vandal Savage, Ra's Al Ghul, and Black Manta were discussing their next moves. A bit cliché but that was kind of how even corrupt politicians work behind the public's back to get elected and get money.

"Regarding our newest recruitment," Luthor started, holding a piece of paper, "Uzumaki is on the move. Our sources failed to inform us whether he has money to negotiate or if he intends to already surrender."

Klarion arched a brow, "Excuse me, but how a thug like him can already give up? He certainly isn't a thinker."

Ghul smiled, "That's because he decided to come alone to this country. My shinobi have investigated him well. It appears that he hasn't fought for several years and has worked at an office ever since his last battle, right after he practically ran his place."

Queen Bee sighed, "A shame that he's such a fool." She chuckled, "For a gangster he gets along too well with his subordinates, unafraid or too naïve to see someone backstab him."

The Brain spoke, "He is a one-man army, though. Reports say that he singlehandedly took down an enemy clan consisting of three hundred men all by himself on a single night."

Black Manta raised a brow, "I still don't believe we should worry. Should he try to fight either way, he will lose. When he does, he will realize the heavy price he could pay if he disobeys us."

Savage grinned, "Which is exactly why this is a win-win for us. He surrenders, and we will have him work for a reasonable price. If he fights, he will learn to scratch our backs before we crush his."

Luthor's assistant, Mercy Graves, walked towards her boss, "I've put word with every commissioner in the country about his arrival. He shall be treated as what he is: a threat."

XXXXXX

At the Watch Tower, a certain iconic Kryptonian stared at the somewhat friendly dark knight walking by with a file in hands and his eyes boring holes into it, "Are you trying to get your own heat vision? That'd explain why you glare so much." The Man of Tomorrow jested. Batman didn't flinch, "Ok, that is serious if you didn't make a comeback. What is it?"

Superman was handed the file, reading it in a millisecond, "His name is Naruto Uzumaki. Chairman of the Uzumaki Clan, a yakuza family that before his birth used to be a small group with little control over their own city. Now he runs Japan's entire crime family, and has been under our radar due to how no-one opposes him. On the bright side, he isn't an active fighter. On the downside, that's because he charged head first through every opponent he found in his way to the top."

"And now he's here." Superman concluded.

"This is the first time in a long time I don't have any information on a new big name criminal." Batman started, "It seems that wherever he went, all fights ended quickly with him as the victor. He is basically a legend at his place."

A feminine voice turned their heads, "Well, he's in our territory." Wonder Woman commented, taking the file and resisting a pink hue crawling to her cheeks, "We should give him a warm welcome."

"Let's leave him be, first." Batman commented, surprising his teammates, "I've been doing my own research. He's not a violent guy. He has never fought unprovoked or without a reason. He is… old school."

The Amazon and Kryptonian stared at him, "I may read faster than a speeding bullet, but I don't know all the terms out there." The latter commented.

"Yakuza are different than normal criminals." Batman started, "They all have a code of honor they must follow. Naruto is different than most modern day yakuza, who are basically glorified thugs nowadays."

"So they believe they are warriors?" the Amazon asked, intrigued with the file, "Tattoos…?" she asked, staring oddly at the word.

Batman nodded, "For example, a yakuza takes pride on the ink they carry on their skin. Usually on their back and arms, they have master artists paint them by pulling up their skin with sharp needles and letting the ink sink in so it lasts longer than any normal tattoo." He showed them a picture of Japanese drawings, "Each tattoo is a symbol for them. If a yakuza shows you his, that means that things are quite serious."

"I always find it fascinating how deep you look into things." The warrior princess commented with a smirk.

Batman gave a ghost of a smile, more like the corners of his mouth tickled, "Know your enemies before they know you." he took the file, "And most of the martial arts I've learned and mastered come from Asia."

"Then why are you looking into him?" Superman asked.

Batman turned serious once again, "He has arrived to town. Whatever business he may have must be important. Nearly every police officer in the country has been informed of this." He turned to the other two veterans, "This is a man that singlehandedly turned a group of only ten thugs into the organization that runs an entire country. He is not to be taken lightly."

Wonder Woman crossed her eyes, "What is your idea, then? The entire league has betting rings on how you leave no stone unturned."

Batman didn't flinch at such statement, "I'll send the team to look into him. He may be strong, but so far he doesn't show to be more than a good martial artist. He also doesn't seem to be much of a thinker."

Superman crossed his arms, "Yeah, Japan must be a rather peaceful place considering it hasn't needed us much these past years. I guess they must have a good reason to not need heroes."

XXXXXX

(Location – Gotham City's airport)

" _Ok, I know you're the reason Japan needs no heroes, but run this by me again, Naruto: you're leaving us here to watch the place while you fight these sorry sods, on their turf, on your own. Do you see the problem?_ "

Shikamaru's voice came out with a tired sigh at the end, to which Naruto replied with a nod even if the man couldn't see him through the orange cellphone the blond had, "Yeah. Just keep everyone ready in case I need to give them a call. I'll have them here in a flash." He grinned at hearing the ponytailed man groan on the other end of the line.

" _That pun was horrible, and you should feel horrible for making it._ "

The yakuza sighed, "Listen, I'm doing what I wanted to do since I was a kid: I'm the Chairman of my own clan. Right now I just want to keep what I love as a man safe. If they want a fight, I'll show them who I am."

" _Better to make them know what they're messing with by crushing everything, huh? Well, you're the boss. I'm just following through with your plans since we were in high school and you fought everyone…_ "

Naruto smiled, "Thank you, Shikamaru. I'll be back, I promise. When I do, the entire gang and us can party."

" _You're still a troublesome idiot… Oh well, good luck. Don't die._ "

And with that Shikamaru hung up, leaving the blond to grin tiredly, "Thanks for the vote of confidence." He said sarcastically and walked forward through the airport.

It looked like he was starting with the right foot after getting out of the large building and waiting for a taxi to take him around the city he'd be investigating. All he needed was to avoid running into anyone who may want to start a fight or got the wrong idea about who he was and how he ran his business.

"Wait! What do you think you're doing?! Someone stop those two!"

Oh, it was like he had never left home.

Turning around, the yakuza found two men dressed fully in black with chicken masks and large suitcases, and from said suitcases some money could be seen sticking out. Guards raced after them, but the men were quicker, and they were approaching a car that had parked behind Naruto. They must have glared at the blond for their running halted for half a second when noticing the human obstacle on their way. Instead of moving out of the way, Naruto put his hands in his pockets and waited for the obvious thieves to get closer to the car.

One of them passed by his side, and was greeted by a textbook lariat to the neck. The thief flipped three times in the air before his face met the ground for a good and long nap. The other thief halted and reached for his gun, trying to aim it at the yakuza. Slow didn't begin to describe how the man saw the weapon move, at least for his eyes it was slow.

"Out of my way, dumbass!" the thief shouted.

Two seconds before the handgun was aimed at him, Naruto slapped the gun with his left hand, aside and punched the thief on the face with his right while twisting his other hand around the gun and making sure to grab it. The thief rushed at the blond for a punch, but, against all logic, the yakuza fired the gun to his side. The bullet landed on a lamp post, and brushed the thief's bare knuckles, causing him to yelp in pain. Naruto then threw the gun to the ground and stomped on it, hard enough to crush the metal into nothing but junk. The masked man groaned and tried to rush at the blond once again, only to see his fist a fraction of a second before it connected with his face.

The door to the escape car opened, and more men dressed in black with chicken masks stepped out. A crowd had surrounded the yakuza and the thieves, and Naruto couldn't help but grin when a few onlookers started to cheer for him. One of the thieves pulled out a shotgun and aimed at the blond. He found the whiskered man face to face with him in a blur of speed, making the armed man gasp and try to aim at Naruto. The suited blond grabbed the barrel and pulled it aside, quickly bringing his knee to it in order to disarm the man. The shotgun was out of the thief's hands, and his face was exposed for Naruto's shoe to leave a nice print of the sole squarely on the thief's jaw.

The last three thieves, including the driver and one that was practically a bodybuilder armed with a sledgehammer, ran at Naruto to attack the yakuza. The whiskered man grinned when one threw a punch at him, he sidestepped it and let the man try to strike him. In the end the thief managed to corner Naruto against a wall, or so he thought. The masked man tried to kick Naruto, but his foot connected with the wall and not the yakuza that spun around the lashing leg. Seeing the knee exposed, Naruto brought down his elbow on it, and many people watching cringed at the sound of breaking bone. But seeing Naruto focused on the thief currently holding his more than likely broken knee, the driver rushed at him for an upper-cut. Imagine the driver's surprise when Naruto slammed down his other elbow to parry the punch, making knuckles crack, before swiftly delivering a faster upper-cut on the thief's chin.

The thief with the sledgehammer stared at Naruto, and the blond cracked his knuckles with a smirk, "Whether it's Japan or another continent, there's always pups like you barking more than they can bite." The large thief rushed at him, determined to smash the yakuza's head in. Naruto watched the swing and stepped forward. His fist sailed far faster than anything the crowd had seen, and connected with the thief's solar plexus, making him spit blood when the punch rocketed him backwards into the car. The sledgehammer flew in the air while its owner crashed and dented the thieves' escape vehicle.

Naruto simply raised his hand and caught the falling sledgehammer singlehandedly, "Throw your weapon down!" and officer shouted with his gun aimed at the chairman.

Doing as told, Naruto turned around to face the officer, hands in his pockets, "What's the problem, officer?" He thanked his English classes. Now that even yakuza had to take written tests to enter a family he was forced to expand his knowledge (AN: this is an actual fact, yakuza in the real world have to take written exams, crazy, I know).

"Hands where I can see them!" another officer shouted.

Naruto raised his hands, and soon got them cuffed to his back, ' _Well, this is a way to get started in a new city._ '

XXXXXX

(Location – Gotham City's Police Department)

"Cut the cocky act, ya punk! We've checked you out, and we found a knife on you!"

Naruto sat at an interrogation room, looking bored with one elbow on the table with that arm's hand holding up his head, and his other hand tapping the surface of the steel piece of furniture, "That's a wakizashi." He corrected the cop, still looking unfazed. The cop, a detective, in question was a large and rotund man with short black hair, a fedora, a trench coat, a button up shirt, tie, and dress pants and shoes.

The man slammed his hands on the table, "I don't care how you call it. We know who you are, pal." Detective Harvey Bullock said with a low voice, he nearly snapped in half the toothpick he was biting from anger.

The chairman stopped tapping the table, "You remind me of an old friend." He scanned Bullock up and down, "He has a better temper, though."

Bullock grabbed the blond by his collar and pulled him up with both hands, "What do you want in Gotham? The witnesses can say all they want how you stopped those thieves, but a guy like you… Yeah, I'm sure you liked playing hero before you could get your hand on that money. A nice way to start crime in my city, isn't it?"

"What I'm looking for here is way more important than any money can buy in this grim city." Naruto stated, not once losing his cool. He grinned at the man, "Now please let go of my coat, I like this suit."

"Sir." A random officer said once he entered the room, "You may want to let him go. He's got other visitors on the commissioner's orders."

Bullock stared at the cop and noticed the look on his face, reading more than he let on. He reluctantly let go of the chairman and walked off, "Fine, but tell that guy to hurry up. Gotham has enough scum already."

One glare later and Bullock was out of the room, leaving the bored yakuza to taps his fingers on the table yet again, "They could have at least got me dinner." He said to no-one in particular, but he knew for a fact that behind the mirror at his side was a group of cops examining his every move.

Lights flickered, which was not a good sign. The chairman arched a brow and stared at the lightbulbs until they gave up and turned off permanently. With his body tense and his senses working at full power, the blond clenched his hands into fists for whatever came his way. Something moved in the dark, and news traveled fast around the world. Soon Naruto saw him, the pointy ears gave him away.

Being average in height made the blond lean his head to look up at the dark knight of Gotham City, "Naruto Uzumaki. I guess you saved me the problem of using a translator."

Naruto shrugged, "You're Batman, right?" he asked casually, before reaching into his pocket. He could almost hear Bullock reach for his gun on the other side of the mirror, and tried to imagine his surprise when he pulled out a picture, "Could you ask a favor to Superman? You see, I know a big fan of his, and she'd love his autograph." He said, presenting a drawing a little child would do of the red caped hero with a buff torso but stick arms and legs somehow supporting a bus full of kindergarteners in Japanese uniforms.

Batman took the picture and stared at it, "You're taking things too well for a gangster in a chair. I expected you to call a lawyer by now."

"What can I say? I settle things my own way." Naruto replied with a shrug, "I've done things that way since I was a kid. Where I'm from people respect strength, and so I kept getting stronger to get to the top."

"I assume you arrived here to do just that." Batman started, "I have to admit you impress me by turning yourself in so easily."

"I just wanted to ask a few things once I got here." The chairman replied and leaned back on his chair, his arms to his sides in a shrug, "The detectives here were really loud, I couldn't get a word with them."

"What're you looking for?" Batman asked with his patented Bat-Glare that told you to answer him clearly or face horrible consequences.

Naruto wasn't fazed, "The Light." He put his hands on the back of his head like he were resting on a pillow, "I don't know who or what they are. I just know they're a bunch of idiots playing high and mighty."

"I know of them." The bat replied without a pause, "And I have some questions for you about them. But I guess we can work something out."

Naruto grinned, "All right, you go first. Show me some good will by answering me this: who do you think works for them?"

Batman stared at the blond, noticing a glint in his eyes, but decided to answer, "The Joker. Right now it's impossible to find him, though. He is on the loose yet again and has been rather quiet." He was being truthful, and using the truth to keep the blond in one place so Naruto didn't go on a blind goose chase to his death. He then leaned forward, "Now's your turn: why exactly are you looking for them?"

Naruto pushed back his seat and stood up, smiling at the bat, and said just two words, "Thank you."

Just then he was gone in a flash of golden light, shocking everyone who looked at him. Naruto reappeared on the building's rooftop, adjusting his suit and putting his wakizashi back inside it.

He may have put a lot of people against him, but right then and there he didn't care.

He was a yakuza, he needn't bother others with his problems.

And right now those problems were the only thing he had in mind.

XXXXXX

(Location: Mount Justice)

"How could he have given you the slip?!" the young hero Robin asked his mentor and father figure on the large screen before them.

"He is not completely human, or not a normal one at least." Batman said to the team of young heroes, "I want you all to watch over Arkham Asylum. During my interrogation I lied to Naruto and told him the Joker's whereabouts have been unknown. Arkham itself is keeping his stay a secret while judges try to determine whether or not to send him to Belle Reve considering what he and the Injustice League attempted to do."

"And Arkham is a good place for him to get answers." Aqualad said, the young Atlantean warrior had some knowledge on the villains he and his friends had fought before in case anything happened.

"You will arrive immediately and keep a close eye on every movement from both the inmates and any intruder." The dark knight replied, "I will be looking for him in Gotham, but Arkham is another place I can't leave unsupervised. Whether Naruto goes there or not, there's the chance that someone may try to escape."

"Sounds like you're trying to make this sound fun." Kid Flash replied, arms crossed, "We're still babysitting one of the safest places on the planet. Even you help with the security there."

"Trust me, the residents of Arkham find ways to bring madness out." The multimillionaire superhero stated.

"What do we do when we find him?" Superboy asked, staring at the image on the screen of the chairman standing there, "Should we expect a fight?"

"He's the only human being who'd wear such a ridiculous outfit after the seventies ended." The team's archer replied, smiling humorously, "It's hard to miss someone like that."

The Martian girl noted Artemis' train of thought, "The moment someone recognizes him, he is very likely going to fight back."

"Did you read my mind?" the green clad girl asked, curious.

Megan shook her head, "Only figuratively, I still don't like to enter others' minds without permission after many things that happened before." She didn't dare look at some of her teammates in the eye.

"Anyway," Batman started to get them back on track, "Naruto is looking for something concerning the Light. He could be either an enemy or an ally. Just make sure to stay on your toes around him."

The team's newest recruit, Rocket, stared at the picture, "Does he time travel? He looks straight out of a disco club."

The resident magic girl spoke some sense, "Why don't you ask me to locate him? It'd save us a lot of trouble."

Batman shook his head, "Whatever he used to get away from me will make it hard to pinpoint his location. Our best option is to be ready for his next possible appearance and look for him at the same time." The team nodded in understanding, "Whatever you do, do not let him escape your sights. Robin will now make sure to hand you a special gadget should you encounter and get close to him…"

The mission briefing went on and the team wondered where the man would go first.

XXXXXX

"Iceberg Lounge… looks cool."

"Was that a pun… sir?"

Naruto turned to the unlucky bastard that thought he could take some money from the suited yakuza before ending on the receiving side of a very one-sided beating. The man now had a busted lip and his right hand's fingers were broken, and he had yet to know how his organs and ribs were doing. How would he have guessed that the whiskered man was like another Batman, only more brutal? In the end, the gangster forced the beaten up robber to tell him what he wanted: info on the Joker. And the best person to get that information was a criminal equally as mad but far more refined, the Penguin.

"I'm not trying to be funny. Anyway, is the boss of this place here?" Naruto asked, shaking the fool he had been dragging by his collar until it was nighttime to get the proper directions.

The robber shrugged, "I don't know. I may steal for a living but I know who not to mess with when it comes to guys like him. You just asked me where to find someone who could know of the Joker, and he's the only one I could think of that won't kill you for little to nothing."

The yakuza let go of his tour guide, "Then get out." He motioned with his head for the man to go, "Just go." the robber did as told rather quickly to avoid another beating. "I know I should call the police, but they must be mad at me now." He looked at the criminal's expensive club, "If not then they will be sooner or later."

With his hands in his pockets the chairman made his way to the Iceberg Lounge, whistling at the fine marble pillars, the cold pools of water, the icebergs that game the place its name, and the smell of good wine and champagne filling the air. There was even some good music to set the atmosphere for such a place. Some good looking waitresses in attention getting outfits walked around serving customers drinks or talking with a few flatterers to entertain them and get an extra tip. All around everyone who sat at a table had a suit. Good thing he as a yakuza always wore his, since some others liked to go only in their pants or shirtless even with a coat on top of their naked torsos. He didn't question fashion much, he just stuck to what he knew, and he was trailing off too damn much.

"What can I get you?" a waitress said with a smile that seemed honest. Unlike other customers she had to attend, the blond gentleman looked rather dashing despite his dated outfit.

"Your boss." He said simply.

The girl paled, "Excuse me?"

"I have heard the Penguin owns this place, and I am looking for him." the yakuza answered calmly, "I've got a few questions for him."

"And what would they be?" and there was the man, short, pudgy, with a fine suit and a nasty glare in his eye aimed at the yakuza, "Because I doubt someone who escaped the Batman has good news for me."

"News travel fast." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head, "I was wondering where the Joker is." He stretched his arms to his sides, "If you answer me that, I'll go, simple as that."

The Penguin snorted, "And tell the old rodent I gave you such information? Oh my dear gentleman, I believe you sadly underestimate the price of what you're asking." He pulled out his umbrella and snapped his fingers, making several guards surround the blond, "Do treat our guest with respect and show him the door."

Six muscular men in suits surrounded Naruto, to which the blond replied by turning around and walking to the door, making the pudgy mobster believe he was being smart. The music stopped when Naruto turned to one of the large marble statues – penguin statues of about ten foot tall each - that had been recently purchased to be displayed near the door. He reared back a fist, and punched the rock solid giant flightless bird. Everyone in the building stared at the blond yakuza's fist and how it turned the hard marble into nothing but pebbles. An audible gulp was heard from the small, monocle wearing avian criminal.

"All right…" Naruto started, cracking his knuckles with a friendly smile, "I'll ask again: where is the Joker?"

"C-Call the cops!" the Penguin shouted to his men, some whom were reaching into their coats for their weapons, "And get him away from me!"

And Naruto was gone with a gale of wind and dancing leaves in the air. The avian criminal soon found him right in front of him, holding him singlehandedly up so they were face to face, "We can save us a lot of problems if you tell me where the Joker is." Naruto stated with his face growing colder, "I am a yakuza, though, and I sure as Hell will start punching answers out of you if I don't get any with the friendly way."

"Arkham!" Naruto tilted his head to the side, to which the Penguin elaborated to save his hide, "Arkham Asylum, that's where the clown is. I'm informed by trusty sources in case I need to sell such information!"

The chairman grinned, "Thanks!" he said with a friendly smile, right before slamming his forehead on the smaller mobster, sending him to sleep with a head-butt. He let go of the mobster and turned around to the quote/unquote reformed criminal's terrified guards and the customers and staff members that had yet to leave due to the awe and fear freezing them on the spot. He also found someone else, the pointy ears making it hard to mistake the figure.

The glare said a lot before the caped crusader spoke, "I thought you wanted an autograph." He said in his smooth and stoic voice, throwing Naruto a bit off guard.

"Oh, did you get it?" Naruto asked with a small smile, "I'd ask the big guy myself, but he's from another city, right?"

Batman narrowed his eyes, "What are you playing at?"

Naruto sighed, "I'm not playing. I'm just wasting time." He said the last part with a growl, "I really want to stop fooling around, but there's one little girl that really wants that autograph. She's more than enough reason for me to stop getting serious, for her sake." He grabbed and cracked his neck, "I'm sure you will offer your help, but this is my business. It's either doing things by force or a lot of idiots missing what I want to say, that you don't mess with me."

"I have a lot of questions to make about The Light and how you know them." Batman said, walking forward, "And I need those answers to help you."

"I'm doing this myself." Naruto stubbornly replied, "Otherwise those guys won't learn who they're dealing with."

"You're really old school." Batman said, raising his fists.

"Don't be a hypocrite." Naruto replied with his hands up, putting them on a sign, "I must go now."

A cloud of smoke blew around Naruto, covering the bat themed man's vision. The masked hero rushed to grab the blond before he got out, reaching into the smoke to pull out… a waitress, "W-What?!" she asked in shock, looking terrified at having her arm held by the dark knight himself.

Batman immediately let her go and looked around for any sign of Naruto, but the blond was gone once again. Or was he? The caped crusader didn't give much thought to the escaping waitress, giving her enough time to hide in an alley with a grin and poof out of existence in a cloud of smoke to reveal Naruto, dusting his suit.

Getting away from Batman – as in permanently making sure he didn't get his hands on you - was supposed to be impossible, so he better try hard.

XXXXXX

In the middle of a forest, on top of some dead trees, one girl asked something on her mind, "Favorite food?"

"Anything with high levels of calories to burn, a bit obvious. Now it's my turn… Favorite color. Besides green, that is."

"You two must be really bored." Robin said to Kid Flash and Artemis, the archer girl was about to answer what her second favorite color was until the Boy Wonder stopped her. She and the only two masked male members of the team were assigned one post.

"Superboy, Aqualad and Rocket are probably as bored as us." The fast ginger replied tiredly, "Besides, it's not my fault Zatanna teamed up with Miss Martian."

The smaller and youngest member of the team smirked, "At least I can focus on the mission and not on what my girlfriend would look-"

Kid Flash's hands found themselves swiftly on the small boy's mouth, "Dude, if you try to ruin the mood with one of your snarky lines…"

"What would you like to see me wearing?" the archer girl asked with a smile on her face, getting the speedster's face to match his hair.

"Uh…" and then his green eyes caught on something, "No way…"

The other two teens turned to see where their teammate stared at. There he was, jumping from branch to branch like some monkey-frog of sorts, with movements akin to a bird taking flight. Naruto finally landed in front of the heavily reinforced gates that made sure only the bravest and craziest of men could enter.

"Freeze!" a couple of guards shouted, led by a middle-aged black man with a hook instead of a left hand, Aaron Cash.

They had their guns aimed at the yakuza, "Could I go in for a bit?" Naruto asked casually, "I need to see someone and ask them some questions."

Cash stared at the oddly suited man, "What are you, some fancy lawyer?" he then shook his head, "Listen, whatever you're doing here, it's a waste of time with the people we keep locked in." he then aimed a finger at the whiskered man, "And we also make sure to keep everyone but cops or Batman out."

Naruto sighed, "I really don't want to waste my time, friend." He extended his arms to his sides, "I must ask someone some really serious questions. I'm willing to pay you anything if you let me in. I'll be out just as quickly and you won't have to see me ever again."

Cash scoffed, "Like I'd believe such a story. Even if you mean it and you're in danger, I'm afraid I can't let you in so easily, friend." He said the last word with a tone that said he wasn't friendly.

"Can't blame you." Naruto said in defeat, "At least I tried." He reached into his coat, and the guards stared oddly at the black 'baton' he pulled, before their eyes widened when he pulled out a blade from it. A two foot long single-edged sword with sunflowers painted on the sheath.

"You/He can't be serious." Cash and Robin said simultaneously. They stared at the blond hold the wakizashi down with the tip aimed to the ground and his left hand in his pants pocket.

Then he walked forward, "Sir, what do we do?" a guard asked as the blond moved slowly towards them.

Cash raised his only hand, "Use the rubber bullets and knock this punk out to teach him a lesson before the cops arrive."

One of his men nodded, pulled out a cartridge and inserted it on his automatic rifle, taking aim at Naruto before pulling the trigger. Naruto leaned to his side, and the guards watched the bullet hit a trunk, missing the yakuza that was currently just leaning slightly to his side before straightening his back. It was almost like a dance move, but with it the chairman had avoided a bullet, a rubber one but a bullet nonetheless.

"He's good, too good." Robin said, now as wary as the guards.

"Fire!" Cash shouted and the guards did as told.

This time Naruto charged forward, running towards the armed men with his arms extended to his side, his short sword cutting the air with its sharp edge, and the bullets flying at him. He could see the projectiles flying at him, one of them just an inch from smashing his forehead. Time moved really slowly for him in those situations. His wakizashi lashed forward and, to the guards and heroes' amazement, the projectile was split in half. Kid Flash's eyes could see how the bullet's halves passed by Naruto, missing him and landing on the ground after losing their momentum. He kept track of him, weaving around every shot and slicing those that got too close for comfort on his head first charge.

Then he and Cash were face to face, with the guard baring his teeth at the yakuza. Cash stepped forward and tried to punch the suited blond, only to watch him flip in the air, put his left hand on the guard's shoulder for leverage, and land swiftly behind him with his wakizashi ready. Cash growled and prepared himself for a deadly wound, thinking back to how he lost his hand to Killer Croc… only to hear a strange sound. He turned to the yakuza, finding him crouched and with his short sword down on the ground.

Naruto stood up quickly while the guards were busy reloading, pulled the sheath off his wakizashi out of his coat, and sheathed the blade, "What did you do?" Cash asked, careful to keep his distance from the blond.

"Wait for it…" Naruto said as he slowly put the blade inside, stopping only when an inch was left out of the sheath. He grinned and sheathed the whole thing in one go.

What happened next made Cash step back in shock and awe when the thick, bomb-proof gates of Arkham started to slide down in halves, cut like butter with a hot knife. The guards made the smart choice by stepping away from the blond as he pocketed the sheathed short sword back inside his coat.

He was about to step into the asylum, were it not for the three disks that landed a few feet from his shoes. Naruto arched a brow, and his eyes widened when red lights started flashing from the disks with a beeping noise. The blond flipped backwards when the explosion happened, sending him further back. He forced his feet on the ground and skid to a halt, with his face still looking at the asylum, and the three kids stopping him from getting in.

"Ok, do you call yourself anything?" Kid Flash asked, "I mean, all guys who do this kind of stuff give themselves a name with few exceptions."

Naruto stared at the teens curiously, "You remind me of my son."

"Oh…" the redhead started and one second later his eyes nearly popped out of his sockets, "Wait, you are a father?!"

Robin felt his jaw loosen up, "Well, I didn't expect that." He said a bit dumbfounded.

Artemis readied an arrow, "What do you expect will happen, big guy? If you try to get in, you'll be in trouble."

Naruto straightened his coat and walked forward, "I want to get in and then I'll be out, nothing else." he then turned at Robin, "You, on the other hand…" he kept walking, "I left a picture to Batman. I'd like to know if he got the autograph I wanted for it."

"You can't be… no, wait, you are serious!" The Boy Wonder said, inwardly wondering if the guy was nuts and thus wanted to get into Arkham for that reason or something crazier, i.e. worse.

The yakuza sighed, "I'll have to get it back eventually…" he kept walking towards the opened gates. "And I don't want to waste my time with you."

Cash approached Robin, "Are you sure you can take him?"

"We had worse." Artemis said proudly.

Cash nodded and motioned for his men to retreat to avoid getting in the heroes' way. The heroes watched Naruto get into a ninjutsu stance, a style Batman mastered under the tutelage of Ra's Al Ghul. They were on edge while Naruto stared at them.

"Two…" he started, confusing the heroes, "Three… no, there's five more of you." he stated without hesitation.

Robin swallowed, briefly wondering how he knew that. His train of thought was shattered when the yakuza rushed at them with his hands up for any fight. Kid Flash dashed at the blond and started to run in circles around him, but Naruto didn't slow down, he kept charging. The redhead saw the whiskered man's back exposed and made a beeline for it with a fist up. A loud crack was heard, and it was from Naruto throwing back his foot directly into the kid's stomach. Kid Flash gasped for breath even as his spit was knocked out of his mouth from the force of the mule kick.

Seeing that the blond had stopped but, more importantly, that he had hurt the red haired hero, Artemis fired not one, or two, or even three arrows, but five at the yakuza. Two at his feet, causing an explosion that he had to jump over. One right at his sternum while he was midair, changing into a net that would have caught his arms to keep him tied up upon a painful landing but he kicked it out of his way. The next arrows were special compressed foam meant to capture heavyweight criminals that could soak bullets like sponges.

What they hit was… a log.

Artemis and Robin stared dumbfounded at the fallen piece of wood that landed before them beneath layers of solidifying foam.

They heard steps behind them, and turned in time to see Naruto kick in the elevator's door to the empty space that assured a free fall to death since the elevator had been taken out due to one rough escape attempt foiled by Batman. Naruto for his part didn't question a thing before doing a swan dive for the depths of the asylum to find his answers.

The rest of the team arrived just to see the man diving into a true madhouse.

"Let's go after him!" Kid Flash shouted, ready to run after getting the air back in his lungs, only to be halted when Robin raised a hand with a grin.

"Remember what Batman gave us?" he smirked and motioned to his arm mounted computer, "He didn't give us some fancy toys for nothing." And true enough, there was a map of Arkham shown on the screen, along a bleeping red light, "He may be smart, but didn't notice me sticking this to his the back of his collar when he avoided the first explosion."

"I can guide you through." Cash said, he may have retreated along his men but no way would he stand still when the asylum was in danger, "That guy will get into some dead ends sooner than later. And I know a good one to trap anyone lurking in."

Back with Naruto, the blond stared at the old but still strong architecture of the dark halls, some bits were missing and others were about to be repaired. Most likely the work of the inmates getting restless was what gave the place its dark and truly depressing atmosphere.

He pulled out his cellphone, "Shikamaru?"

" _The gang and I are watching the news… Do you know how much the people hate you right now?_ "

"I'm at some asylum called Arkham."

" _Thanks for ignoring me, boss…_ " he said the last word sarcastically, " _But all right. If you really are there, then I suppose you got a lead, a real mean bastard. It's the Joker, isn't it? Of course, it has to be, what other nut in that country would try to get acquainted with these assholes just to mess someone's day?_ "

"I could use some help tracking him."

" _And I could use a coffee._ " Shikamaru replied, before yelping with the sound of something heavy smacking the back of his head, " _Ow! Damn it, woman… Fine, I'll send you help, boss. They're all ready, so pick one._ "

Naruto bit his thumb hard enough to draw blood, and put his hands on a seal. In a cloud of smoke another man appeared. He was lean, had long brown hair, and a black headband around his forehead. His hair was tied up at the end in a white lace, he had a very handsome face, and what would call mostly for attention were his lavender, pupil-less eyes. He was dressed in a white karate gi, and brown hakama pants. One could see some black ink painted part of his chest and some more on the back of his neck.

"Naruto…" the man said slowly.

"Neji…" the blond replied.

"Hinata-sama and her children are-"

"Safe, for now."

"You're a terrible husband." The man said with his arms crossed and a glare.

"And you're practically my brother-in-law, a terrible one, mind you." An exasperated Naruto shot back, "Listen, let's get the insults over with and find answers to get her and your niece and nephew out of this mess!"

Neji sighed, "Remind me, why did I ever joined you?"

Naruto grinned, "Because you tried to fight me when we were in high school when Hinata asked me out on our first date. I still won."

"Want the rematch?" Neji asked darkly, and Naruto pressed his forehead to his. They both had mad grins crying for bloodlust.

A noise was heard and they pulled apart, getting into battle stances, Naruto in his ninjutsu and Neji in an Aikido stance. "Care to tell me what that was?"

Neji's face pulsed with energy, and the veins around his eyes bulged. "It seems that someone's trying to break out, and thanks to your little stunt they did." He slid a foot backwards, as did Naruto when the ground started to shake, "The guy's big, but nothing I can't deal with. The Joker's must be right below us in a big room, for he's the only one there. And someone's moving towards him."

Naruto grinned, "Fine, then do you want to take care of this guy?"

Neji nodded, but reached to the back of Naruto's head, "Yes, and you'd do better to watch out what you do. You let your guard down." He said as he pulled a small bat-shaped device the size of his fingertip.

Naruto nodded, "Guess I can't underestimate even kids in here, to think they got me just because I wasn't using… Never mind. I'll see you soon."

And the next thing Neji knew was that there was a large hole where he used to be, tunneling down. Soon Neji was face to face with a muscular titan of a man with tubes coming out of his head on the back of a luchador mask, and going into his muscles. The guy towered over the blind-like man and snorted at the sight of Neji and his long flowing well-shampooed hair.

Neji stared at Bane, the one man that broke Batman's back, until the dark knight got better and broke his jaw more than once afterwards. He put his hands inside his gi's sleeves, "And who're you supposed to be?"

Bane grinned, "I should be asking that, little man." He walked casually towards him, "What is it you look for in here?"

"I'm not looking for anything, I'm looking after an idiot." Neji replied and walked towards the towering man, showing the wooden sandals beneath his gi. "And what do I find but a miserable excuse of a man too weak to fight by his own means." Oh how he loved to gloat, even after Naruto beat his smug face in.

Bane's veins bulged, and not because of the venom powering him, "I shall enjoy feeling your neck getting crushed in my hands, rata." The luchador replied and activated the powerful chemical that gave him strength. Soon he was a bulging titan of a man with a head that looked far too small for his body.

"Allow me to teach you something." Neji said as he got into his stance, "This battle will show you what happens when those fighting to repeat fate face the ones struggling to change it and their will. I'm Neji Hyuuga, a lieutenant of the Uzumaki Clan, the strongest clan of the Namikaze Family, and I carry my boss' will on my back." He was glad Naruto didn't hear him, he'd never hear the end of it at the office.

Bane raced at the young man, "Then let me see that will crumble!" he punched the lieutenant, making Neji smirk.

The brunet spun around the punch and delivered a solid palm strike at the wrist. Bane gritted his teeth when his hand hit the ground and made a small crater, which was odd. He never flinched when breaking through walls, so what? His wrist! His wrist had gone limp!

"What did you do?!" he asked, but Neji had closed in to deliver a palm strike at the criminal's gut. Bane barely felt his skin tickle from such a hit, but beneath his flesh… "Urk!" he bent over, holding his stomach and trying to keep his lunch inside.

Neji used the opportunity to land swift strikes to the man's knees, making him fall on them before Neji. But not daring to fall the large luchador forced his limp hand on the ground to keep him from falling while he still held his stomach with an ill-looking face.

"I used to fight to break into people that fate dictates their lives…" Neji said, clenching and unclenching his hand, "I thought I did, until I met him…" he sighed, "It's funny how things work." He grabbed Bane by the neck with one hand, the other pulled back, "Now I'm fighting to break those that try to hurt him." he slapped Bane's face, sending him to a sweet sleep. "And I'm talking too much… Damn it, he's rubbing on me."

He put his hands in a sign, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. If Naruto was going to do this, then he'd have faith in the blond idiot.

Meanwhile, the team of young heroes stared at the sight before them, a beaten Bane and a hole on the ground. "This is bad." Cash said as he moved forward, past the masked criminal, and pulled out his walkie-talkie to get any signal.

"You mean that someone beat up the big guy? Yeah, we figured." Superboy replied with an arched brow, "Or is it something worse?"

Cash gritted his teeth at the lack of responses, "It's times like this that the lunatics get noisy. If Bane is out, then there's a good chance that others may have already started escaping with this distraction." He punched a nearby wall, "Damn it, why did that moron get in here?! Thanks to him everyone with a straitjacket must be going through another escape."

He went to a nearby room to look at the screens, the cameras showed him images neither he nor the heroes could believe. In one of the floors, after the hard steel ground made it harder to dig, Naruto was surrounded by what appeared to be a hundred inmates. Some were armed with makeshift knives, others had pulled a leg of their beds to use as clubs, and others twitched and itched to let their hands do the talking.

And leading them was a pigtailed young woman in a jester outfit, Harley Quinn, "Huh, and here I just got Mister J's party ready to find someone dressed formal. I gathered everyone to help him out, too." She narrowed her eyes at the blond, "This is a casual party, buddy. You better have an invitation."

Naruto stared at his fellow blonde, "You're here for the Joker?" he asked calmly, not even fazed by the insane thugs around him as they followed the girl, "Good, I have a few questions for him."

The jester woman tilted her head, "What's that for? Business, pleasure, leisure, a foot massage?"

Naruto straightened his suit, "Business."

Harley smiled widely, too cheerful for her smile to be truthful, "Goodie! Here, try to sign this application!" and from her back, defying all laws of physics, she pulled out a large bazooka.

It didn't take long for the picture to change into Naruto a few yards away from where he once stood after rolling to his side with a large pillar of smoke behind him and flames adding a very unromantic atmosphere to the environment he found himself tangoing in with one of Gotham's craziest and most emotionally unstable villainesses, not to mention the one that was devoted to the city's worst criminal. One of the inmates rushed at him from the side, attempting to stab him with his shiv. Naruto watched the incoming strike and grinned. Just when the blade was about to meet his skin and force his blood and guts out, the blond jumped midair, flipped his body to the side, and brought up his right heel to kick the makeshift knife off the thug's hands.

Upon landing, Naruto stared at the shocked inmate who then growled at the blond and tried to punch him. The thug's fist hit only air, for before his eyes the blond had vanished… What was that shadow over his head? Harley watched Naruto land with a single foot on the madman's face, curling his now unconscious opponent's spine backwards before he smashed the back of his head on the tough steel floor with his nose letting out a cracking noise from the shoe still there.

"Who's next?" Naruto asked, and three more inmates rushed at him. A hook, a jab, and a straight punch sent them flying backwards as unconscious heaps.

Harley smirked before pulling out a massive mallet, "Well, you know what they say: if a man can't keep his hands to hi-!"

The yakuza and the jester's eyes widened. From her stomach something burst out. It went all the way from her back to stand out, coating in her blood. Naruto recognized the blade instantly, it had a single edge and was straight, like a ninjato or chokuto. But what stood out to him was the cold-heartedness of what happened. Harley's eyes widened in horrified realization that she had a sword sticking out of her stomach after a ruthless backstab. She turned around, but her attacker immediately yanked off the blade, making her spin around and fall on the floor.

Or she would have fallen, had a yellow flash not helped Naruto appear right then and there, holding her up with one arm and his other hand parrying the still blood soaked blade, "Didn't I take care of you?" Naruto asked the attacker with a growl and a glare.

Harley's eyes widened even more at what she saw behind the strange figure of her attacker: every inmate in Arkham had been killed in a single strike. And that's when, as she felt the blood in her stomach make her way out of her mouth with a cough, that the killer was a professional, and he had to be mentally unstable.

The figure was clad in white: a Chinese jacket with no signs of buttons or a zipper, white slacks, white shoes without laces, and white silk gloves. But what stood out the most, aside from the Japanese sword he held with a simple white handle, was the white mask he had. It was more like a helmet, a round and large cat mask with large, round eyes. The mask's eyes stared blankly at her, while the helmet was big enough to cover the world's biggest afro.

The two Japanese men pushed each other off, with the hand that Naruto held Harley with going to her wound. The blonde jester gritted her teeth, expecting the pain of his touch on such a… Why did it suddenly feel less painful? Not only that, Harley thought as she blinked, but it felt like bits of her were going to where she had been stabbed. The blood in her mouth stopped dripping, and she felt renewed. She looked down when Naruto pulled out his hand, seeing not even a scar.

The cat figure, most likely a man, stepped back, "You're still too soft, Naruto." He said, brandishing his sword at him, "She works for that madman. Rather than asking questions, you should take them out of her."

Naruto stood up, helping the jester up too, "Last I recall, I made my own vows when I became a yakuza." He glared at the figure, "I go all the way in, balls out, but even if it's for my duty or my honor I don't want to kill those that don't deserve it." he aimed a finger at the masked man, "You, on the other hand, I have every reason to kill for what you've done. The only reason that stops me is-"

"I'm working for The Light now." The masked man said.

Naruto nearly lost his breath, "What?!" he stepped forward hit by sudden realization, "Then the reason Hinata and my kids are threatened is-"

The masked man nodded, "Yes. But do not worry." He aimed his sword at the blond, "Your family is safe and sound for as long as I live. I made sure that The Light knows to keep them out of danger because we got something to finish, you and I. The only reason I just took this job because it was the perfect opportunity." He wiped the blood of his blade with a single swing and stared at Naruto through his mask.

"I'll finish it right here, then." Naruto declared, and Harley and the group at the security room watched in amazement a red cloak of pure raw energy surround the blond man.

The cat masked figure chuckled, "Impatient as always, I see. However, I've seen that you took a liking to the good life as chairman. If you really want to settle things with me, you should defeat those threatening your family. That's the only way to know this match won't be meaningless."

And before Naruto could punch him, the figure disappeared.

"Great, just what I needed." Naruto grumbled with his arms crossed before turning to the jester, "Where's your boss?"

"You're married?" she asked, sounding… disappointed?

Naruto groaned and pulled her close to his face by her collar, "Listen, where is your boss? I need to talk to that clown now."

"Oh, sure thing Mister N!" she said with a sheepish smile, obviously having no remaining desire to blast him to pieces.

In the security room, the entire group could only stare in disbelief at what just happened, "So he is being threatened by The Light, yet is looking for them. He could be a possible ally." Aqualad said to his team.

"No." Robin stated, "I know how criminals work, and this guy certainly doesn't want to work with us. Hell, even if we tried to earn his trust, he wants to do this by himself. You've seen him ask for The Light. He doesn't want to simply find them, he wants to crush them."

Superboy whispered to himself, "We could let him." he still harbored no amount of affection for the human "father" he got thanks to those villains.

"There is also something wrong here." Miss Martian spoke, "I've noticed two odd things since we've entered. The first one is that when I tried to read Naruto's mind… something odd happened." She looked down, "I can't even explain it, but his thoughts are too convoluted yet simple at the same time. It's almost like he has two minds."

Rocket arched a brow, "Do you mean that he's bipolar or has a personality disorder?"

Megan shook her head, "No, it's something I've never sensed even when we faced the Joker… And that's the second thing I've noticed." She held her head, "The more I've looked into it…"

Harley had finally showed Naruto the room in which her boss resided for the time being in one of his "vacations" from murdering some of Gotham's best and/or worse for his own enjoyment.

The yakuza clenched his fists, the room was empty.

There, in the cell, was the corpse of a guard, and written with his blood was a message with a map pinned below with a kunai. The message read as follows:

" **CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, FOXY! HAH! HAH! HAH!** "

 **XXXXXX**

 **And that's my rap!**

 **If you enjoyed the fic, then that's good, and if you didn't then you were warned about what it'd contain.**

 **This story is meant to be mindless fun. There won't be anything too serious or dramatic.**

 **What you see is what you get: Naruto as a yakuza wants to crush The Light because as the evil assholes that they are they threatened Naruto's family, which consists of Hinata, Himawari (cutest thing I've seen in a while) and Bolt/Boruto (Whose name makes me want to slap Kishimoto stupid for being so unoriginal with it).**

 **I did this because I am still a NaruHina fan deep down. I wanted the two to be together and interact… but all interactions between Naruto and all secondary characters were considered tumors. Kishimoto just put emphasis on Naruto's relationship with Sasuke. And yes, I am doing a bit of that considering what you've seen with the cat man because if I got to write a story about Naruto fighting villains then I may as well put in an epic rival battle, and the only rival Naruto has that can keep up with him is Sasuke. Well, there is Lee but it is not as personal, sadly.**

 **I am still sad that all interactions Naruto could have had with anyone were never actually done if at all. We just see the characters and then they basically just leave so it can be all about Naruto dealing with Sasuke and Sasuke dealing with his inner struggles.**

 **Rant aside, do not take this fic seriously. I just want to have mindless fun. If you enjoy it then that's a plus.**

 **Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING

To think I'd do an actual fic honoring the ridiculous manliness that is Ryu Ga Gotoku and I am not using that franchise. Maybe I come from some alternate universe myself, who knows?

 **XXXXXX**

Is this serious?

"Can we take it easy, Mister N?"

The map and the kunai nailing said piece of paper to the blood soaked wall had been pocketed in the yakuza's coat. Now Harley Quinn was scared: she was sweating, trembling, and smiling broadly her best forced and terrified smile to date. The last time she tried that very same smile was when she nearly blew up a bomb in the Joker's lair, which got him mad and almost ruined the special surprise he had tried to set for Gotham's orphanage just for Batman to once again punch them back into a straitjacket.

Oh, good times.

But she was staring at a different kind of guy, one who was married and had kids at that, pulling her by her collar with one hand so they were face to face, "Tell me how I can find your boss and I'll let you go." The blond wasn't asking, he stated what he wanted. Harley felt compelled to oblige him since her feet dangled a few inches from the floor.

"Gee, Mister N…" she started, knowing that he was mad but trying to disarm him with her adorable bubbly personality, "I wish I knew. I mean, a girl like me can try to be on her own for a change but she always finds a handsome sweet prince after her. We just kind of bump into each other whenever he's not caged, but when he is that is when I usually break him out like I tried to do."

Naruto let her go with a sigh, "I'm wasting my time on you." he looked at the map for any possible clue, "Party's over, as they say. I'll do this the old fashioned way and get answers by punching them out."

Harley glared after hearing her crazy crush would be harmed, "Oh, I'd say it's just started!" she pulled out a party hat and pulled a string. A blade came out of the tip and she rushed at the blond yakuza… the small piece of steel flew into the air and landed behind her while the chairman's wakizashi found its tip inches from her throat.

She gulped and he spoke, "I may turn my back on people like you, but what makes you think I would lower my guard?"

"Sportsmanship? Chivalry? The fact a lot of Social Justice Warriors will be mad if you harm me?" she tried real hard, but he was unsure if she tried to be funny or smart with such replies, perhaps both.

A voice to his right alerted the yakuza of company, "Ok big guy, put that clown girl down nice and slowly." The jester turned one second after he did so, looking at the group of young heroes before them. The one that had spoken was Robin, readying a couple of his birdarangs in each hand while the rest of the team readied themselves for battle.

The chairman sighed, pulled out the kunai he had pocketed, and nailed the clown girl to the wall by stabbing her collar to the wall, "Stay there while I deal with this." He told the clown girl who quickly nodded back.

Aqualad continued, "You're surrounded and outnumbered, so think this through. We know of your family, we've heard your conversation with that masked guy. We're ready to offer you our help."

Naruto let go of Harley and put his wakizashi back in its sheath inside his coat, "Outnumbered, yes. Outmatched…" he raised his fists, "I'll have to see that. Right now I don't see why I would need your help in fixing my own mess. This isn't only personal, but it's a job I want to get done right from the start."

"Diplomacy has failed." Aqualad commented.

"Has it ever worked?" Superboy asked sarcastically.

The yakuza smiled bitterly, "Sorry kids, but either I do this on my own or those messing with my family won't learn their lesson."

Zatanna narrowed her eyes, "Oh you did not just call us kids."

Naruto grinned more and raised a hand to them, the back of his fingers presented to the kids before he waved them back and forth, the clear 'bring it' hand motion meant to taunt everyone.

A gong could have very well echoed throughout the entire facility when Connor rushed at Naruto for a punch. The blond sidestepped the charge and pushed aside the arm with one hand on the wrist. He was greeted by the sight of Kid Flash right in front of him barely stopping in his run to deliver his right leg up with his shin aimed to the blond yakuza's head. In the meantime Connor managed to spin around the chairman and threw his right arm for a powerful kidney shot on the other side.

Left arm up, and the kick stopped dead in its tracks inches from the whiskered man's cheek. Right arm down, and Naruto hooked his arm against Connor's to keep himself from pissing blood. The other members of the team had to take the sight for a full second in order to believe what they saw, just before the suited man pushed back both teens with a single arm each. Taking the opportunity, Naruto dashed back to get some needed space and got into his fighting stance with a small smirk on his face. It wasn't an expression of cockiness, but of one who knew what he was doing.

Superboy once again stepped up and threw another punch. Naruto smiled and let the fist sail by his head, grabbed the wrist with a deadly iron grip, and saw the kid's footwork. The Kryptonian boy felt the yakuza's shin on the back of his leg too late before he hit the ground and lied there flat on his back. Giving up wasn't in the cloned boy's dictionary, so he tried to get up, which got rewarded with the yakuza's shoe slamming into his chest, knocking some wind out of him.

"From where I'm standing this is pretty much like teaching my kids how to fight. You're free to prove me wrong." The whiskered man's words were nonchalant. It was obvious that he didn't see them as a threat, but to take it so lightheartedly was unnerving the team.

Kid Flash was up and ready to give his retort in the form of a lightning fast jab. Naruto pushed aside the blow, but got instantaneously rewarded with another, and another, and the tempo kept getting faster like a storm. Soon Naruto had to cross his arms and let his limbs take the punishment for him he faster the redhead speedster got until, with one final punch, he had been punched back from the force of that one fist going way faster than all the others. The redhead grinned at his small victory in seeing such a clear opening while the yakuza fell backwards. It was a short-lived moment of joy when Naruto used his fall to spin around and reverse kicked the teen yet again, using the opening that the last punch gave him to send the freckled boy to the ground.

Cash had been more than kind enough to offer his services in guiding the kids through the asylum, and so his voice was heard through Robin's arm computer, "Kids, let him go!"

Aqualad stared in disbelief at the arm-mounted computer, "You can't be serious."

Cash spoke loud and clear, "This isn't a joke, boy. Listen, Harley Quinn made a mess when she entered this place. You've seen those free inmates, well, they're not the only ones who got word of things. Arkham needs to lock down every door, but of course our friend in the fancy suit over there had to cut the main gate for all the lunatics."

Artemis groaned, "Perfect, and you just happen to have this guy in."

"It's very easy." Naruto said as he walked towards them, cracking his knuckles, "You're in my way. Move or I will move you."

Aqualad sighed, "You heard him." he said with his eyes closed, and for a brief second Naruto wondered if they had- "Move!" Of course they wouldn't. Come on, he had to be honest, who'd give up so easily?

Three arrows zipped above his head right when he dodged them, forcing him to crouch nearly to the point of being on all fours. Soon three green and feminine arms flew at him from the green skinned redhead. Megan couldn't help the gasp she sucked in when the yakuza spun around her three-limbed punch with ease and his arms on his chest as if he were hugging himself. She learned that Naruto was keeping up his guard even as he got right in her face and swung one of his arms for a lashing backhand. The chairman's other arm served to parry a stab from Robin's staff right to his lower ribs, distracting the blond man enough for her to turn intangible, which in turn made his hand pass right through her.

Growling, the yakuza pushed back the younger hero and spun around taking a different stance. The standard ninjutsu stance has the left hand down and in front of the body, but this one had both fists up. He barely gave Robin time to think when he dashed at him and punched harder and faster than they had seen him move before. The Boy Wonder sailed through the air with a nasty bruise on his face, landing inside a blue energy bubble. Naruto looked up at the short haired dark skinned lass flying at him with her body glowing purple and Aqualad close behind her.

"Why are you even fighting?" Naruto asked, pausing Aqualad's charge for a millisecond before the blond boy slashed at him with a water saber and attempted to knock him out with a water mace.

"I should ask that!" Aqualad shouted while his fellow blond bobbed and weaved around his strikes like a boxer. The Atlantean had more things to say but stopped when a sharp punch connected with his ribs.

"My fight is with the Light, not with you kids." He said, but still kept up his fists as Rocket lashed her leg at him. He dashed to his side by about half a foot, letting the heroine's shoe slam on the wall where his head had been a second ago. She grunted in mid-discomfort since the walls of Arkham were reinforced many times in the past, even if her foot managed to crack the hard surface.

He was about to punch again, but a few magic works slowed him down, literally " _Wols nwod ruo s'ymene noitcaer emit!_ " Rocket was able to fly around the man's fist and get right on his face, " _Tekcor, won!_ " Rocket spun around and brought her fist at the man with her purple glowing aura adding insane speed to it.

Zatanna smiled, expecting to see Naruto flat on his face. What she was rewarded with was a flash of yellow light appearing right in front of her with the yakuza two feet from her. She gulped and tried to step back, but the chairman slammed his left hand to her mouth with a strong grip, muffling her voice and lifting her up in the air singlehandedly. That was when yet another green arrow flew at the blond man from behind, with the tip opening to reveal a heavy boxing glove. Zatanna was happy to see Artemis helping her, but her joy was shortly lived when the chairman's free hand lashed backwards, swatting the arrow like a fly.

He sighed, "Like I've said, I don't have to fight you since my fight isn't with you heroes." Zatanna was pulled closer so she and the yakuza were face to face, "But I'm not going to hold back when my family's being threatened by scum like those bastards from the Light. I will crush all of them myself, make no doubt about that."

The magician girl was ready to throw a kick, but was swiftly flung backwards towards her friends. She managed to stop herself midair with a quick flying spell, but when she turned to see the blond man he was gone, and Superboy's back was turned to her as the Kryptonian boy ran where the yakuza had been, and then jumped up right through the hole the blond man made to get where he was.

"We can't let him get away." Superboy shouted to his teammates, "I'll go right after him!"

"He's right, Naruto's proven to be intent on this quest of his so there's no need for us to hold back either; we need to corner him." Aqualad said, "Robin, Kid Flash, Artemis and Zatanna will go to the entrance while Rocket, Superboy, Miss Martian and I will follow Naruto from behind. It'll be a pincer attack."

"What about the Joker's number one fan?" Rocket asked with a thumb hooked to said jester woman.

Zatanna raised her hand to the blonde criminal, " _Egnahc sehtolc otni sgnidnib!_ " Soon the jester was locked in place with her clothes now used as a straitjacket.

"Wait, what're you doing?! That punk wants to hurt my pudding!" she shouted, "Let me help, I can guide you to where the Joker really is so you get ahead of him!"

"Thanks for the info…"

The remaining seven teens blinked at the sight of the blond man that landed behind Harley, a sly grin on his face, "I was expecting you to forget about her with our fight, to be honest."

"Wait, are there two of you?!" Kid Flash asked with a distressed look on his face. Those kicks from the blond still hurt.

Naruto shrugged, "I hope not. But your friend should soon realize he's following a copy right about…" he grinned widely, "…now…"

He grabbed the jester and slung her over his shoulder like she were a sack of potatoes, "Hey, hands off!" she screamed, "You're married and I have my sights on my own prince! You better-" Naruto put one hand on the jester woman's shoulder and pinched it tightly. She made a face like she had drank the sweat of some smelly socks and then lowered her head down into a deep slumber.

"I'll take my leave now." The blond man told the teenage heroes.

Without even a second to come up with a witty comeback or rush at him for another fist exchanging competition, the yakuza disappeared in a whirl of wind and leaves.

Artemis groaned, "He's good, real good." She said while putting away her bow, "That style he used…"

Aqualad nodded, "Yes, we've seen it before with the League of Shadows, but his was different."

Artemis hummed making Robin arch a brow, "It's ringing a bell, isn't it?"

The archer groaned, "Blame my father… But yes, it is familiar. I was forced to see him fight someone with a similar fighting style when he took me to Japan for training. He pulled me along to study the skills of other fighters, and… to teach me how to take a life." There was a much needed pause as that sunk in and she tried to shake off the memory, "He barely managed to get out of there." She then cringed at another painful memory, "He actually failed that mission, and we had to get dragged out. Turns out that the guy he had fought was a real monster."

Kid Flash arched a brow, "Wait, do you think the guy he fought could be-"

"No, I know what you're thinking, and no." Artemis replied, "The guy Sportsmaster fought was a far more ruthless than Naruto, and was ready to kill me on the spot for witnessing how he attempted to kill him."

"So your father saved you by running off." Kid Flash said, knowing that Artemis disliked the man enough to not want to admit such a thing herself.

To their surprise, her answer was, "He did not. I recall that another yakuza stepped in and stopped the guy before he could do it." she looked up, "And the guy Sportsmaster fought and lost to called this other man something… before I passed out from the pain I was in." She closed her eyes, "That guy tried to kill be, but the other tried to save me… What was the name…?" she asked herself before an easier solution came to her in the form of a too obvious idea.

She turned to Miss Martian, the green girl blinking, "Oh… All right, give me a second." She held the archer's hands, intertwining their fingers, and entered Artemis' mind, "Na… Nami… Namikaze…" she blinked a few times, "The Namikaze Family, that's all I can get from your memories."

Rocket arched a brow, "But Naruto's from this Uzumaki Clan, so how would he learn from this family?"

"He leads the main clan of an entire family." Robin corrected, "I guess that even at the top he has a lot of loyalty to his roots."

"Or he learned from them from the start." Kid Flash chided in.

Robin raised a finger and opened his mouth, then lowered the digit and closed his jaw, pondering briefly, "It is possible. But how did you get such a logical idea?"

Zatanna piped up, "Let's leave the jokes for later. We still have to catch Naruto."

XXXXXX

Harley finally woke up, on top of one of Gotham's abandoned buildings. She felt tempted to scream her head off due to the fact she was sitting on the ledge, but quickly noticed the yakuza in front of her seated in a garden chair that matched the one she was tied to. His arms were crossed and his stare bore holes into her skull. Not the first time she woke up to find someone not fond of seeing her there considering the many members of the asylum's staff she had pissed off.

"Where do I begin?" he asked, tapping one elbow with as he remained cross-armed.

"How about a divorce, then movie and a dinner?" Like she'd let go of the chance to make a joke even if it could kill her.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Your boss is in a worse danger than seeing me." The chairman stated.

Her eyes widened, "What?!"

"The man you saw at the asylum that had killed everyone there and even tried to kill you." the memory made her flinch, "Trust me, he won't be fond of working with the Joker."

"B-But now you just said they're working together!"

"Not for long if I know him." Naruto replied with a slight shrug, "I've grown knowing him my whole life, and every time we had to deal with each other there was always blood involved."

"My pudding is dead?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"Not yet." He assured her, "But if I don't get an address, he may as well be."

Narrowed eyes sent her thoughts to him before she voiced them, "Like I'd believe such a tale. You may think I'm a dumb blonde like you, but joke's on you, pal! I'm not even a real blonde!"

Naruto leaned forward, "His name is Sasuke Uchiha. He's a father with only one child. The woman of said child lives under my protection while her daughter and my kids play together."

Tilting her head, Harley inquired, "Why are you telling me this?"

He continued as if he hadn't heard her, "Not even Sasuke wanted his daughter to know of many things he did before he and I had our last fight. But even then we agreed we would settle things if needed. However, he still hasn't changed on how he really is in battle." He leaned back and sighed, "Not once has he hesitated to kill a target. Whatever mercy he has is reserved only to fight me or for his family. Now he wants to face me and wants both of us to be serious, and even sided with the people threatening my family's life."

Harley took it all in, "Is that all?" she knew there was more.

Naruto scoffed, "Our clans had been enemies since before we were born. Naturally, we fought ever since we were kids. I always wanted to be a chairman of my own family, but he…" the blond shook his head, "I don't even think he has a purpose anymore aside from fighting me."

"Because of your families?" she asked.

He shook his head, "That's no longer an issue to him… What is, though, is that I make sure his daughter is safe and sound. And I will." His eyes briefly glowed, "No child should be punished for their parent's sins."

Being once a scholar on the field of psychology helped, "You're talking about yourself now."

"Indeed." He'd deny nothing about that, but… "His daughter, however, is someone my son enjoys pestering and my daughter drags to a lot of tea parties." He stopped tapping his elbow, "The big question now is why he is doing this to get a fight with me. To settle our differences, or because the Light has a bigger goal than anything the Joker could be useful for them?"

Harley's heart leapt to her throat, "You… You can't be serious."

"Sasuke isn't one to stop. You've seen how he is when it comes to take a life. He's extremely merciless and cold at best when it doesn't concern either of us or his family." He then closed his eyes, reliving a memory he wanted gone, "Though all it took for that was for him to kill his own brother."

Harley could feel her heart and insides sinking, "What is he?"

Naruto stood up, "He's someone I don't know whether to hate or pity for what he has become. He's just a guy who knows nothing but to take out his anger in a way he sees fit, and that is to murder anyone he sees as an enemy without hesitation." The chairman started to untie the jester, "Me? I've been taught something different as a yakuza… the freedom to live is the right of all living beings, even The Light has that right." He helped her up, "But when someone uses that freedom given to them only to take it from others, well, they forfeit that right and you no longer deserve to be free."

"And is the reason you haven't killed him…"

"His daughter, yes." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm not the kind of man that could look a child in the eye and tell them I murdered their father, or simply tell that kid that said father is a cold killer."

And just as things seemed to be taking a grim and dark turn, the ground shook, "What is that, Mister N?!" the jester asked, pointing at something big enough to cover their surroundings in a big shadow. Harley looked at the helicopter where Oswald Cobblepot, AKA The Penguin, and one of his subordinates were readying themselves for Naruto's demise judging by the look of madness behind the mobster's eyes. Then she looked down to see platoons of armed thugs in black military gear racing into the building through a hole they made after blowing up the entrance.

"Naruto Uzumaki! You're a fine piece of work! Get on your knees and beg for forgiveness and I might not cut off your fingers!" the small mob boss shouted, "Even better, hand me that clown girl and all I'll do is break every single bone in your body after what you did to me!"

"He sure took a liking to you, Mister N." the jester commented with a nervous laugh, "As for me, well, Mister J and I decided to have some fun and saw-"

"Save it. If you want to see your boss safe, stay here." The blond man replied. "Besides, there's no way I'm leaving a lady with this kind of company."

"Last chance, Uzumaki! What's your answer?! It's the girl or wishing to die slowly and painfully!"

Naruto grabbed his neck and cracked a few joints, "The thing is, friend," he said to the Penguin as the portly man glared at him, "I'm the kind of sore loser that doesn't give up even if he must crawl out of Hell."

The door to the rooftop burst open and five men entered, armed and armored. They each had an automatic rifle aimed at the blond chairman. Naruto arched a brow at what he figured would be excessive force if he were a normal thug, but he was the chairman of a country sized crime syndicate and had entered in one of the securest asylums just to get answers.

Yes, as Harley said, the avian themed criminal must have taken a liking to him after all that.

"On your knees!" one of the men, most likely a mercenary, shouted.

Surprisingly, Naruto complied, sitting down with his behind on his heels and his hands on his lap, like he were in a tea ceremony like the ones that he usually amused his daughter with. He made a mental note to buy her something nice on his trip back home while one of the mercenaries stepped closer to him and reached into the blond man's coat to look for any weapon. Faster than one can say "Fooled you!" Naruto's right hand shot around the merc's arm, gripped it by the wrist with one hand and the elbow with the other, and threw the man over his head to land flat on his back behind the yakuza.

The other mercenaries were stunned though internally blamed themselves for not seeing it coming, good enough for Naruto for it gave him plenty of time to do his next move. The blond leapt at the nearest merc and drew out his wakizashi, the short blade cut the air and the armed man's gun in half. The armored gun for sale tried to swallow what he just saw, only to be on the receiving end of a roundhouse kick when the blond stopped and spun around to lash his foot at the hired gun.

The three remaining soldiers of fortune tried to aim at the yakuza, instead they saw him blur out of sight before he appeared in front of one of them, backhanding the black clad man hard enough to send him flipping backwards and land on the back of his head with his behind up. Before the other two could open fire, Naruto's feet seemed to glide to the naked eye when he charged at another, grabbing him by the collar with one hand while the other was above the whiskered man's spiky hairdo. The chairman slammed his fist on top of the merc's head, cracking his helmet and bringing the man to his knees, only to have his face introduced to Naruto's knee for the KO. Meanwhile, Harley and the Penguin watched it all with wide eyes.

"What the Hell?!" the last mercenary shouted, stepping back.

Naruto heard the man's finger pull the trigger, and rolled at him, dodging the first shots in order to leap when his feet touched the ground. The merc yelped when the yakuza was right in front of him, sailing midair with a fist reared backwards. Harley winced when she watched the chairman's knuckles break through the helmet. The merc went down like a sack of rocks and Naruto broke his fall, quickly flipping back on his feet.

Once up the yakuza cracked his knuckles, "I've knocked them out!" he exclaimed to the bird on the helicopter, "If you send anyone after me, this will repeat itself."

"You've attacked me before my clients, do you think I will let this fly?!" the Penguin was livid.

Naruto shook his head, "No, of course not. But keep in mind that if you try to fight me, I will fight back." He put his hands in his pants pockets, "Your call. Send in as many men as you want, I'll keep fighting."

XXXXXX

"What just… happened?"

It was nighttime, and the young team of heroes found a fallen helicopter with large chunks missing from clean cuts. On the building that the flying machine landed nearby were about a hundred mercenaries armed to the teeth lying face down. At the top of the abandoned building, currently hanging by his umbrella hooked to his pants and the edge of the roof, was the Penguin with sweat building all over his body and a terrified look on his face.

"Get me down, kids!" the small criminal shouted, "And get me a lawyer, I want to press charges on the monster that did this to me!"

"Give us details on what happened and we'll help you down." Superboy replied with a stern stare.

The Penguin gulped, he was pretty high, "It was that whiskered monster Uzumaki! The punk took out all my men when I came here to get payback for what he did to me in my place! The guy's a monster in human skin, I tell you! He even has that clown girl Harley Quinn working for him now!"

"Easy there, fella." Rocket started, "That's how ill rumors start. The guy's married, and has the Joker's number one fan working for him?"

"He beat up a hundred trained mercenaries without breaking a sweat and then that lass followed him, that's all I'll say until you get me up!"

Miss Martian sighed, "Fine." She raised a hand and soon the bird themed crime lord was levitated to the ground, but not before, "Zatanna…"

A quick spell later and the Penguin was tied up, "So, where did he head to next? You can answer us, but we're still getting answers one way or another." Robin said with a playful grin, making sure the crime lord knew that Batman taught his young pupil well.

XXXXXX

"Bruce?"

"Clark." Came the dry reply to the red caped man.

"Why're you staring at those pictures?" Superman finally asked.

In the middle of the Bat-cave the dark knight of Gotham had spent his time researching odd pictures. Each image was of tattoos which ink sunk deeply into the skin of Japanese men, yakuza.

"I'm trying to find more about Naruto." Batman replied.

"Because he defeated the Penguin and his small army alone?" Superman guessed.

"Outside of Japan there's nothing to know about him." the bat started, "Not even in his own country much is known about him besides not to mess with him."

"The team gave us an idea. The question is what're we doing here instead of helping them?"

"It doesn't hurt to know what kind of man you're facing." Batman replied and Superman had to agree on that, "Yakuza take pride on their tattoos. Each symbol has a different meaning. And it is because of the symbolism that the black market sells the tattooed flesh of dead yakuza at high prices."

Superman cringed, "Thanks for the mental image."

"Be glad Luthor doesn't enjoy such tastes in art."

"No, I think he wouldn't mind having my skin on his office wall."

"Joking aside. I've tried to find out Naruto's tattoo. Apparently a master tattooist by the name of Jiraiya did Naruto's back and arms." Batman replied and showed Superman a picture of a man with a ridiculously long mane of spiky white hair, "However, Jiraiya was a disciple of a greater tattoo artist that finished Naruto's tattoos. Said master had another disciple, and all I know is that he is dead much to Japan's relief."

"You're still looking into it, Bats."

"Barry…" Batman greeted the Flash as politely as he could.

"You got news on this shady guy, don't you?"

"He only did tattoos for really questionable people. His masterpiece, as he called it before his death, was given to someone that every Japanese organization to know of this has gone above and beyond to erase."

"Wait, you're serious?" the Flash asked but the narrowed eyes said enough, "You are…"

"It appears that whatever he did was best forgotten." Batman replied, "And Naruto was the one to make sure it happened that way."

Clicking into an image, Batman showed a picture of a shirtless Naruto with his back turned to the camera, and his face and body caked with blood. The yakuza looked to be barely reaching his twenties, perhaps he was nineteen years old. The blond could be seen with a longer mane of hair holding someone by the throat with one hand, while his other covered this man's face with the fist he slammed into his enemy.

On Naruto's back was a tattoo so defined, so perfectly made, that it looked like the ink itself had given life to the image the yakuza carried on his back. All the way from the elbows to the shoulders – and part of the pectorals - thick black lines covered the blond man's limbs, with cherry blossom flowers over them, drawn in a way that one could try to blow into the skin to see them dance in the air.

"The cherry blossom represents the fleetingness of life and of beauty." Batman replied, "It means to live one's life to the limit and die young…"

And on Naruto's back, one could see the ocean swirling with power. Waves moved on his skin with the might of the seven seas and gave way to a creature that baffled the two red wearing heroes. It sat with its back turned to the waves that made it look as if the water itself adorned the beast that painted Naruto's back. It was snow white fox who the artist behind the tattoo gave the look as if it were jumping out of Naruto's back to attack whoever was behind the whiskered yakuza. Around the white beast's neck was a red cloth, and clenched in its teeth was a tanto dagger with a red handle.

"This is a kitsune, a messenger of Inari, a Japanese deity that symbolizes success." Batman stated as he looked at the ferocious looking animal.

"It's a fox." Flash commented.

"According to legend," the bat continued, ignoring the speedster, "kitsune were messengers of Inari, a deity whose mythology is complicated to explain depending on the region but that, in short, would give great fortune to those who earned it be it in love, their job, etc. with the foxes working for him."

"Even if you explain it that way, it is still a fox." Flash said flatly, "Not very intimidating like a dragon or-" Batman clicked the image and the man that Naruto was punching sailed through the air, crashing through a solid concrete wall, and landed face down on the other room. "Ok, he can make a fox look intimidating."

"And that is all I could get on Naruto." Batman said, "I had to hack so deep that I used ten times the processing power of all computers under the Wayne name." He turned to Flash, "Think this through, Naruto himself shows his tattoo, but this one guy he fought against has never had his revealed."

Flash's mind worked as fast as his feet, "If I bet that Naruto's behind that, how much would I get?"

"The masked man Naruto fought and this man he defeated here, we can't say it's a coincidence that both Naruto and this newcomer have arrived at the same time." He turned to the red heroes, "Someone that all of Japan desires to forget is not to be taken lightly. And neither is Naruto."

XXXXXX

Naruto looked at the place in front of him for a good five seconds before pinching his nose. He was doing something he'd classify as a trait of Shikamaru's, but the sight before him made him feel like an idiot for what he was getting involved with. It was an abandoned theater in the middle of dark streets, and it used to be a place for standup comedy.

He took out the map, "Yes, this is it, Mister N." Harley said to the natural blond.

"I expected something less cliché." The chairman mumbled before putting the map back in his coat. "But if your boss is here, then so is Sasuke."

"Will Mister J be all right? Will I ever see my pudding again?" those damn teary eyes put a conflict on the yakuza about telling her that she was likely to get out her crush's remains with a mop or lie like a dog.

"Just get ready." Wakizashi in hand and he stepped forward.

A swift swing from his blade and the doors were opened, the chains and heavy planks that kept it locked were far easier to cut than Arkham's main gates. What the two stepped into was what one'd expect, an old carpet eaten by moths, peeling wallpaper, and plants growing out of… Ok, that last part gave them a pause.

Harley grinned, "Oh it's Red!" she shouted and then put her hands to her mouth, "Red! Where are you?! It's me, Harley, I managed to bust out of Arkham but didn't get him out! Do you know where my boss is?!"

"I'm afraid your clan is in another funhouse, Harley…" a sultry feminine voice said from one side. And there she was, clad in a revealing skin-tight leotard and with gorgeous red hair, along an exotic green skin, stood Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy, "And I see you brought company."

"And he is losing his time." Naruto told the jester.

"Whoa, wait a sec, Whiskers! Red may know something! She and Mister J worked together at the Injustice League show!"

Naruto turned to the villainess that usually fought Batman, and found her showing him her palm, like she were handing something to him. The only thing in her hand was air, "What?" he asked, and when he saw her smirk he knew it was bad news. A cloud of pink clouded his vision after Poison Ivy blew on her hand, the smell of a powerful perfume with a scent so concentrated it clogged his nostrils and forced him to cough shook his body. His head started to spin and soon everything around him, even the floor, looked like it was made of wobbly rubber.

Backed against a wall, Naruto forced his body up while he rested his entire weight there to recover his breath and bearings, "Good job, Harley." Poison Ivy laughed near silently, "You know, next time you have a bad date you could give me a heads up."

"Sorry Red, but he kind of forced himself on me, and you know I only have eyes for my sweet pudding." The blonde jester said.

Poison Ivy groaned at the mention of the clown, "It's good for you that we're friends, otherwise I wouldn't do this." She put her hand on Naruto's chest and dragged her fingernails up to his chin, "However, he's not that bad for a quick peck." She leaned down to claim his lips, her own filled with venom, "Just let yourself go, darling."

Harley watched the pressure that Poison Ivy's lips submitted themselves to because of her, and felt her insides freeze and sink to the bottom of her stomach when Naruto's hand pushed back the redhead. The blond had a deadly glare while his fingers gripped the eco-terrorist's cheeks tightly and made sure not to hurt her too much. To make sure that his next words made themselves a nice home in the two femme fatales' heads, he lifted Poison Ivy up and had her dangling a couple of feet off the floor.

"You never…" He growled, "…ever kiss me… Only my wife has that privilege."

Poison Ivy gasped, "How?! Your mind should be in a coma while your body is forced to obey me!"

"Sorry, but there's one woman in the world that was kind to me from the start and even saw me as more than a troublemaker since we were young, and I promised her I'd be hers and only hers." He then turned to Harley, who was sweating bullets, "And your boss, the Light, and Sasuke dared to threaten her."

But you should never trust a clown, "Red, isn't it about time you feed your babies?" Harley asked. Quickly, Poison Ivy snapped her fingers, and Naruto was forced to let her go and roll on the ground away from a thick vine the size of a log with thorns, lots of sharp thorns. It was a good thing he had his wakizashi ready.

Poison Ivy breathed deeply and patted the vine, "I am still surprised you resisted me."

Naruto chuckled bitterly, "You're a fine looking lady and all, perhaps we could have gotten to be good friends, but I am a man of my word and I vowed a lot to the woman I married." He crouched, as if ready to pounce with his wakizashi to the side, "And I vowed to keep her safe and happy."

Poison Ivy snapped her fingers again, and thick branches shot from the ground with sharp and pointy tips. Naruto rolled to the side and lashed at the nearing branches, cutting them in two before they could impale him. The redhead villainess snarled and shot her arms forward, causing much more branches and now some thorn covered vines to rush at the blond. Naruto crouched again and threw his wakizashi up, confusing the two women before him.

Dashing forward, the blond was face to face with what would be a painful way to become a human Swiss cheese. But just when his face was about to get five new holes, the blond kneeled down with one hand on the floor. This further confused the two women before him until they saw the wakizashi start to fall and Naruto's body following the momentum, rolling him forward. The handle landed on the now hand-standing blond man's right foot, who let his body follow the pull of gravity in order to get a long vertical slice that cut right through all of Poison Ivy's plants and left a wide open path towards her.

"Are you kidding me?!" the eco-terrorist shouted and brought her hands up, calling for bushes to form a living wall for her while Naruto landed on a squatting pose, grabbed his short sword in less than a fraction of a second and in that same span of time he leapt back at her. He kept charging towards the redhead with his blade cutting through the air, and swiftly slicing through her defenses.

Ivy saw her chance and threw both palms forward, causing the ground to shake. The floor shuddered until it couldn't take anymore and burst open in front of Naruto, shooting entire trees at the blond man. The chairman gasped while the flora crushed him in the closest thing to a bear-hug he'd get from plant life. Ivy grinned and slammed her hands together, watching the trees pile on all over the blond to slowly crush him under their grip in a tight and deadly embrace that-

"Red!"

Replying to Harley was her first thought, but the environmentalist woman found whatever the jester wanted to tell her about right in front of her. She needn't be the genius she was to know that she was in trouble when the chairman's wakizashi was put dangerously close to her neck to the point he could shave any layer of unwanted skin if they so much as blinked.

And then… he pulled back, "I have no issues with you." he stated calmly, "All I want is information about the Light, and then I'll be off."

The green skinned criminal stepped back, panting after what she just experienced. Had he been cold and merciless like Deathstroke the Terminator… She shuddered to think of such a thing. But she also noticed that he didn't let his guard down for even a second, he kept his grip on his wakizashi with an inverted hold and his thumb brushing the pummel's side. He was letting her live, but by no means would he be stupid enough to let her attack him again, and after seeing what he had done…

Poison Ivy spoke, "I know of the Light's whereabouts! I used to work for them." She knew that he let her live not because he wanted the information but because, after all she put him through, he showed kindness. Whoever was the woman he was fighting this passionately for had to be one lucky lady.

Naruto stared at her, "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

She shook her head, "Call it us being even. You sparred my life, I help you with yours." She stared at him and sighed, "My last time with them almost got me killed because of the Joker."

Naruto turned to the jester, "It seems like I have no business with your boss now." He then took out the map, "But why would he try to lead me here?"

Ivy's eyes widened, and a gasp escaped her. Naruto turned to see her, and disappeared in a flash of yellow light. The redhead had caught sight of something, and while the sight of it shocked her, it didn't make her lose her composure like seeing a straight-edged sword inches from her face, stopped dead in its tracks by Naruto's wakizashi.

"Run!" the blond shouted before he had to push the blade away from skewering him.

"Still fooling around with your enemies, I see." The masked man from the asylum stated dully, trying to push back the blond with no result.

Naruto showed his teeth, which canines looked sharper than usual, "And you still stab others from behind, just like Karin."

"We were trained as ninja!" the masked man shouted and raised his leg.

The yakuza slammed his shin against the masked assassin's, "To protect those we care about!" he added.

Jumping back, both white and black clad men raised their swords, the masked one speaking in a cold tone, "She tried to harm you, the jester fooled you here. But in the end you still get in my way." He aimed his sword at Poison Ivy, "She has long outlived her usefulness thanks to my services. The map I gave you was supposed to guide you to another hiding spot of the clown closer to the asylum. You're free to step aside and forget that she ever lived after I finish this job."

The redhead snarled, "I'd like to see you try." And with that said, her plants all rushed at the man. It was at that moment that she only realized she was fighting a real monster. Right before her eyes her plants, her babies that she prided herself about and cared with all of her love, were reduced to nothing but ashes by jets of flames.

"Oh no you don't!" she heard Naruto shout and the blond had once again disappeared and reappeared, this time behind her with one hand clutching the swordsman's wrist to keep the blade's tip away from Ivy's back where her heart was. The yakuza's other hand was locked in a similar grip with its tip aimed to the masked man's ribs.

"Always protecting everyone. Why, Naruto?"

The blond scoffed, "Because I am nothing like you, Sasuke."

The two brought their knees on each other's sides, pushing themselves back with the sound of ribs cracking, "It's all the same, right how our families started."

Naruto spat on the ground, "Indeed, but I'm not those guys, they're long dead and this is my life."

"What about Sarada?" Sasuke asked, "You keep your enemies too close, playing friends with them."

Naruto glared hard, "I don't care what name your daughter carries, or if my kids carry my clan's name. They're free to choose something other than fighting someone who's different than them. This is their generation, not ours, and I'll make sure they don't carry any of our burdens." He then sheathed his wakizashi and put up his fists, "And right now I am not seeing you as a friend."

The cat masked man chuckled darkly and sheathed his sword behind his back, raising his own hands in a stance similar to Naruto's, "This isn't like that fight those years ago, I've grown stronger to surpass you."

"And I've grown stronger to protect what I care about." Naruto shot back.

"You still let me live." Sasuke taunted.

Naruto smirked, "After I beat you and you walked out of my city."

XXXXXX

"News Flash, Gotham City! It appears that there's some explosions going on in the center. Witnesses who escaped the sight believe it to be a gas explosion, but others have commented to have seen two men fighting and breaking through everything in their way. Whether the latter may be true or not, we shall see sooner than-"

An explosion cut off the news crew, a poor lady in a cheap suit that had gotten her first job and a shaken cameraman, and soon two figures landed behind her, skidding to a halt after their jump while a nearby store fell down. The poor duo watched the events unfold as the figures stood up to reveal men in fancy and out of place suits. The lens of the camera focused on the men and the fact that the black clad one had a strange aura emanating from him, creating a warm and even soothing light, while the white clad figure with the cat helmet was coated in a layer of cold.

The two raced at each other yet again, stopping only when they were face to face with their fists sailing straight at the other's face. The blond man's sunk through the mask and broke it in half, while the white clad man's nailed him on the chin. Yet despite the jab right to his face, the blond remained on his feet with his eyes glaring holes at the man before him, as if he either didn't register the pain he had to feel from the burning sensation on his cheek or he was simply accepting it without a problem.

The white clad man stumbled backwards and groaned, while Naruto's cheek slowly started to heal. The helmet fell down and Sasuke's face was revealed, half of it covered by the mop of black locks he called hair, and the other sporting a bruise. However, the two fighters were winded and standing out of sheer will power.

"I finally make you show your face, Sasuke." The blond grinned.

The raven haired man growled, "Is that what you call a victory?" they got back into their stances, "Mine will be facing you when you really stop holding back."

Naruto glared, "My family and Sarada don't deserve this for something like that." He used the words that slowly sunk into Sasuke to appear at his side and punch him, "This is our fight, not theirs!"

Sasuke clenched his jaw and flipped above the punch, using a hand on Naruto's shoulder for a handstand in order to continue his course and land behind the blond, "You wanted to be chairman just to feel like a man." He growled, "I wanted to be chairman to finally decide my own destiny!"

"Killing everyone who got caught in a stupid war because of our families isn't something I would have let pass while twiddling my thumbs." Naruto started, "You wanted peace through tyranny."

"And how does your peace help when your family can be targeted by a punk with a gun." Sasuke shot back.

This time when Naruto appeared before Sasuke, the Uchiha clan member watched his fist sail at him for a powerful right cross punch. Sasuke grinned and watched the blond get closer, and so he did the same. His visible eye glowed red, reading Naruto's movements in slow motion and giving Sasuke the perfect opportunity to counter this one punch with insane ease. He'd step right in through Naruto's opened guard and deliver a left cross that'd render him unconscious.

Naruto was a hot-blooded man, once he started something he never stopped until he saw it done, he'd get punched at an angle that'd shake his head and also his brain, paralyzing him for any combo Sasuke desired to go through. For Sasuke, it was a sure victor- He stopped! Sasuke's eyes widened when right before him Naruto forced his body to stop dead in its track as if time itself had stopped. The chairman was frozen in place with his right fist by his side, and Sasuke's left still going forward into a counter that'd never land, leaving him wide open.

"Go!" Naruto shouted as he resumed his punch, "Down!" he exclaimed upon making contact, sending Sasuke's face right to the ground. The Uchiha gasped, blood shooting out of his mouth while his body bounced off the concrete street once before he laid down on his back with a pained groan.

"H-How…" he asked.

"I've been teaching my kids how to fight, I have to learn how to hold back." Naruto replied and grinned, "I never thought it'd help me like this."

"Always a mid-fight thinker…"

And then, Sasuke burst into smoke, making Naruto groan at the figure before him, "Smartass…" Naruto growled as he kneeled down and looked at what was behind the smoke, "Well, this actually made my job easier." He said as he picked up the man in the purple suit before him, someone that Harley instantly recognized.

"Pudding!" she cried as she raced to her boss, only for Naruto to stop her with a hand on her face, keeping her away like a bully kept his victims away from their lunch. Considering how she tried to trick him, he didn't feel any shame after such an analogy.

"W-What happened?" the clown criminal asked.

"I got some questions for you."

Naruto's line wasn't said by him, but someone else. He turned around to see Batman, with back-up, "I hope you don't mind that I've signed the picture." Superman said, holding in his hand the drawing Naruto brought to the dark knight, with the Kryptonian's signature on it.

The yakuza looked at the heroes, with the Flash there, and sighed, "Thank you." he said, looking at Superman, "If you hand it to me, I'll answer anything you want."

"He's not lying, is he?" the Flash asked, feeling that something was odd. He faced crazy criminals, Captain Boomerang among others, but this guy seemed legit when he said that.

Superman closed his eyes, letting his hearing answer, "Either he's a good poker player, or he is really that desperate to get my autograph… I don't hear any changes in his heartbeats."

"Just to be sure." The Flash said before a red blur created a typhoon around Naruto. Unfazed by it the blond put his hands on his back, "Not even fighting back?" The Flash asked, clearly puzzled while Naruto didn't even flinch from the rope tying his hands to his back.

"I do want that autograph." Naruto said with a shrug.

"Cut the act." Batman replied, "After all you've done, you are surrendering now?"

"I looked for the Joker to get answers. Seeing how the Light treated him I can say I won't get any good ones." He sat down, "So do your worst."

XXXXXX

(At Mount Justice)

"After many disturbances, the yakuza known as Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze turned himself before three of the Justice League's veterans. People say it has to do with a valuable piece of paper Superman carried, but details on that have yet to be confirmed or denied at the moment. Due to the chaos that his actions brought, he will be sent to the prison of Belle Reve along Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley and the Joker, who were found near the area where the battle took place and didn't last long with the combined efforts of our heroes."

Robin turned off the TV with a frown, "He is planning something. He didn't call a lawyer or attempt to resist even after how much he said he was losing time."

"Uncle J'onn tried to read his mean but found the same result as I." Miss Martian commented while she sat on Superboy's lap. The heroes were all seated at the living room, with the couples sharing a seat like Kid Flash and Artemis sitting side to side.

Aqualad put a hand on his chin, "We know he's on a blind chase. The question is what kind of lead does he have to go into Belle Reve? Even so, could he have known or worked a way to get there?"

"It is possible." Superboy replied, "All things considered, Naruto's fight against the Light may have more than meets the eye."

Rocket punched her palm, "I wish I could know what he wants, he owes us a fight."

Aqualad arched a brow, "I didn't think you'd take a page from Connor's book."

"Hey!" the Kriptonian clone exclaimed.

Rocket laughed briefly, "It's not that… Well, partly, yes. When he was fighting us he didn't take us seriously at all. He was playing with us, like we were kids."

"He looks like a decent father, at least." Artemis commented, "Now that I think about it, do we know anything about his family?"

Zatanna shook her head, "Regarding whether or not they're safe remains a mystery. If the Light has them then they're not making any moves to threaten him. But if they just have them as bait…"

Superboy frowned, "We need to go back to Belle Reve." He said and stood up, "Megan and I know the place very well, and with our efforts combined we could-"

"Enter the prison and get information out of Naruto." Batman commented. "I guess you already know what you must do. Your first mission hasn't ended, and I still want you to gather as much information as you can about Naruto while I do so too on my side."

"When did you get here?" Kid Flash asked uneasily.

"The other members of the League and I will brief you, get ready in five minutes." The bat replied, completely ignoring the speedster.

Robin patted the redhead's shoulder, "Little tip, never try to ask how he does what he does. I've tried to learn it, and I still have trouble keeping up with him."

XXXXXX

(At the prison of Belle Reve)

"Let's make one thing clear…" Naruto said in the middle of the cafeteria, collared and clad in an orange set of pants and a white muscle shirt, "I'm not locked in here with you. You're all locked in here with me."

He emphasized his statement by slamming his foot down on the face of Icicle, the father whose son stared in shock at the yakuza before him. Mr. Freeze, Blockbuster, and Mammoth all rested flat on their backs or faces on the ground and a cracked helmet. The chairman sat calmly on top of a table and he looked disinterested to the guards at his side, aiming a remote at him.

Before they could press the button, someone stepped forward, "That's enough, Naruto." Said Dr. Strange, the new warden, "I've seen what happened and know you're not a violent guy."

Naruto stared at the bald bearded man, "Listen chief," he started and approached the man, "if you don't teach these guys some manners, I'll do it myself." He stomped hard on Icicle Senior's head, "Like how to teach someone not to call their son a waste of space…" he growled out, making sure to add more pressure to his foot like he were smearing something on the ice criminal's face.

The guards pressed the button, and watched as Naruto's collar shocked him with electricity that coursed through his body with more than enough power to cause pain and have him fall unconscious to the ground… Or that would have been the case had the blond not stopped his fall by stomping forward and forcing his back to straighten up.

Brick gulped, "This guy's a real monster…"

The other inmates agreed while the guards tried to zap the blond again, but he still didn't fall. "Try that again…" Naruto growled to the now scared guards, "Just try it."

"Damn you!" one shouted while his friend zapped the blond again, grabbing a club to smack Naruto on the head.

The prison went silent at the sight of the blond man's fist breaking the club in half with a single clean punch, "Can I at least finish my meal in peace?" Naruto asked the guard before him, who felt his bladder tingling from the fear before he nodded dumbly, "Thank you."

And just like that, Naruto sat down with only one thought in mind, ' _I got Himawari a nice souvenir… What should I get for Hinata and my mini-me?_ '

 **XXXXXX**

 **And that's my rap!**

 **Despite all the ridiculous seemingly Nolan-levels of serious moments in here, this fic is still meant to be nothing but dumb fun. The forced seriousness is just there to be laughed at. That and parody the hard bastard stereotype that manly games like Yakuza and mangas like Toriko have. It's all meant to be some super testosterone man-tear jerking thing that shouldn't be taken seriously but be looked at by turning off your brain and having a fun time with all the ridiculous things that happen. I basically described a lot of anime there, didn't I?**

 **And just to answer some questions:**

 **1\. The Joker was being controlled by Sasuke, sort of like how Itachi and Kisame used corpses to fight Naruto and co.**

 **2\. Yes, I admit there's a far too obvious Watchman reference near the end of this chapter.**

 **3\. Everything you see here is to be taken as both a tribute and a parody of hyperly masculine manly stereotypes that used to be popular in media back in the day where it was required for characters to be muscular warriors to look up to.**

 **4\. I know it's not much of a parody and more of a homage, but do expect things to get ridiculous sooner than later.**

 **5\. Yes, I will also admit I took inspiration from Hajime no Ippo in the fight scene between Naruto and Sasuke. You fans will know what I'm talking about.**

 **Swordslinger out!**


	3. Chapter 3

I OWN NOTHING

I'll rant a bit: why in the name of goodness are we forced to see no interaction between Naruto and his family? I'm serious, we barely see anything about Bolt, and Hinata and Himawari are off-screen.

 **XXXXXX**

Let me try!

"How's it going?"

Luthor's question made Ghul raise an eyebrow. Both were at one of the latter's hideouts, an Asian styled lair with some good training grounds, and many cameras that showed images on the many screens before the men. Luthor found his question answered even before Ghul replied.

"The brat is his son, no doubt about it."

On another side of the lair, in the middle of a large training area, many shinobi of the League of Shadows stared at their enemy in shock and, mostly, confusion. It was a… tiny version of Naruto. The kid was clad in a school uniform: a black jacket with matching dress pants, white sneakers and, imitating the whiskered man, an orange t-shirt. The boy even had a mushroom-like mop of golden locks, four marks on each cheek that looked far too much like whiskers, and his father's deep blue eyes.

He was also only ten or twelve at most, and didn't know any English so he spoke in Japanese, " _URYA!_ "

The shinobi, all adults and trained to kill without a second of hesitation and the skills to take down platoons of elite soldiers in twenty different ways, watched the mini Naruto throw a punch at a man twice his size. The larger fighter bent over in pain, holding his gut after his ribs cracked loudly, and was in position for the tiny kid's foot to meet his chin. The kid's leg shot up to the skies and his small foot made a ninja that easily towered over him spit his teeth.

"This kid's a monster!" one of the Shadow League shinobi exclaimed with cold sweat around his body.

One of the ninjas tried to flank the kid from behind, but since the kid saw reinforcements coming he slammed his hands together and shouted, " _Byakugan!_ " the men before him widened their eyes when the boy's blue orbs changed to a lavender color without pupils and the veins around his eyes bulged. Lashing his leg backwards the small boy managed to ram his foot on a sneaking shinobi's crotch, making him fall to his knees to get in range for the kid's right hook followed by a swift palm strike to the bridge of the nose.

Blood splattered from the ninja's broken nostrils, and the kid pumped his arms to take a pose, " _The name's Bolt Uzumaki! Remember it, punks! I will be the man to become the Eighth Chairman of the Namikaze Family and future Chairman of the Uzumaki Clan!_ " he aimed a finger at one of the shinobi, "Rets Gou!" he shouted in a thickly accented English, showing he had yet to go through puberty with that level of study.

Luthor sighed and took the microphone in front of the screens, answering the boy through the speakers in the lair, " _Your mother and daughter are safe and sound for now, boy. I'd suggest you stop fighting to make sure they remain that way._ "

Bolt glared, " _I know you… You're that bald jerk that talked with my old man!_ " he clasped his hands, " _I will find Mom and Himawari! After that I'll kick your bald butt!_ "

Luthor held back a groan, " _Do you realize the situation you're in?_ "

Bolt's glare grew hotter, " _You say you'll hurt my mom and sister, but I don't care!_ " he shouted and took a different pose with his palms opened and in front of him, " _I know my old man… If you hurt them, he will make you pay, and if you really do something bad to them, he will never forgive you and neither will I!_ "

Luthor pinched the bridge of his nose, "This is why I don't work with kids unless there's a leash around their throats." He turned to Ghul, "Well, how did you manage to keep the brat locked up?"

"Same way as we did with his mother." Ghul commented coldly, "We showed them the little girl and how she was doing at the hospital and the men pointing the guns." He grinned, "Luckily for us, Uzumaki is unable to do anything against common diseases but get proper doctors. It left her wide open for us to use, and then, well, it was child's play to make them comply with that sick kid's life."

"You're keeping her stable, I hope." Luthor mentioned, knowing the risks of having a hostage that could be lost, and also had to comment on another thing, "But if the kid's fighting so much, what about the mother?"

Ghul's face showed some emotion, his features stiffened slightly, "She made herself very clear. Even as we pointed a gun to her daughter's head she said, and I quote, that she would be waiting for Naruto to arrive."

Luthor frowned, "So much faith in a single man. She either truly loves him or has no other hope to cling to." He then stared at the kid on the screens jumping eight feet in the air and slamming both his feet on another ninja's face, "What about him? He still wants to fight us."

"He must have tired himself of waiting." Ghul replied, "But there's no need to worry. We made some calls to keep him in check."

Luthor was about to ask, but once again the answer appeared before him, wearing a mask that was half black and half orange, with only one eye, "Well, this should be fun."

Bolt stared at his new opponent while he stood up on a defeated ninja's chest, " _Who are you, old fart?_ " he asked with his tiny fists up, looking as threatening as a kitten yet the body count of unconscious shinobi behind him said he had the skill to back his glares up.

" _Cocky, aren't you? But your skills are impressive even for your age…_ " started Slade Wilson, better known as Deathstroke the Terminator, " _You are very talented. Bolt, was it?_ " he pulled out a large broadsword from behind his back, " _How about you show me what you can do._ "

Bolt smirked, " _I've learned how to fight thanks to my dad. I'm not going to fight you or show you a thing, I'm going to kick your butt!_ " he bared his teeth like an angry animal, " _You and that jerkface with the cat mask… You dared threaten Himawari! I will never forgive you!_ "

The masked man chuckled, " _Let's see how cocky you can be after I'm done with you._ "

With a loud cry of " _You asked for it!_ " the tiny blond near glided to the far larger mercenary and threw a punch up. Seeing this Slade swung down his sword, attempting to smack the kid's fist with the flat side of the blade like a slap on the wrist for doing such a sloppy strike, or a slap on the knuckles in this case. His surprise was visible when the preteen's small hand still went up past the blade, as if it weren't there at all. Bolt gritted his teeth, seeing that the man had armor he prepared himself for the impact to try to knock the air out.

" _Not good enough._ "

Slade's words echoed emptily in the kid's head when his fist was stopped by the man's knee. Bolt felt a boot on his gut, and felt his breath escape him with the strong frontal kick. He rolled backwards and, impressing Slade some more, managed to roll just twice before getting on his knees and then back to running in nearly no time. The hired gun stared at the kid moving his right hand back with his fingers clenched and his left hand forward with his palm opened as if he were mixing the styles he used. He swatted aside the fast palm strike with the flat of his sword, making the kid gasp at his speed, and prepared himself for the right punch.

" _Rasengan!_ "

Feeling like he didn't bring his sword up fast enough, Slade felt it shake and shudder under the impact of a blue glowing orb of pure energy. His feet hurt from taking the force, and it didn't take long for him to start sliding backwards. But that was it, the strike only managed to push him back a few feet while the tiny blond panted.

" _Damn it… I still can't get it right…_ " the mini-Naruto cursed between long breaths.

A chuckle turned his attention to the masked man, " _Truly impressive… It is a shame my contract says I have to keep you locked up, boy. You could make a fine soldier under the right tutelage._ "

Bolt's glare grew far hotter than any kid his age could ever show, making someone feel like they were seeing Naruto once again, " _I told you… I plan to be a yakuza. I will be the new Oyabun of all of Japan!_ "

Slade blinked, and the kid was gone from where he once stood, instead he was right in front of him high in the air and with a fist pulled back. Slade swiftly grabbed the boy's arm by the wrist and elbow, stepped forward to cancel his momentum, and threw him face down on the floor with a simple arm lock. Bolt clenched his jaw to not cry, and used all of his strength to lift up Deathstroke. Imagine the man's surprise when he felt his body slowly move up from the stubborn kid's insane brute force. Nothing that a knee to the spine couldn't help.

" _You are good, but not good enough._ " Slade said and pulled out a small baton which extended into a staff, " _Good night._ "

" _That's enough._ "

Slade looked up to see a woman clad in a traditional white kimono with an indigo sash. She had the traditional white sandals and socks, and a long mane of flowing dark blue hair falling down in a thin ponytail with evenly cut bangs framing her forehead. A round and usually kind face was twisted into a cold and contained expression of anger. Her hands were idle in front of her, showing the old ways of how Japanese nobles would stand. She also had quite a beautiful body that could make some Amazons jealous even after giving birth twice, showing that her husband wasn't the only one training.

Hinata Uzumaki was not a woman that enjoyed seeing her son beaten up, and she made it clear by raising up a hand which glowed with pure blue energy, swirling around like fire and taking the form of a beast. Slade watched lions made of those blue ethereal flames roar at him with Hinata's hidden anger. He could see it in her posture that she was well-trained too, and could tell where half of Bolt's repertoire of techniques came from even if he preferred strength. This woman was fully defensive, though, so he'd have to get close or find a way to shoot her, but he knew from her lavender eyes that he still needed better options.

" _Your child needed some discipline._ " Luthor's voice said, " _Shall we remind him of his sister's condition?_ "

" _What do you morons think you're doing to Himawari?!_ " Bolt shouted, and felt tempted to call them bastards, but his mom was in front of him and she was already mad.

" _It's fine, Bolt._ " Hinata said, " _As long as we're here, your sister will be fine. She is very sick, so we will have to wait for your father to arrive._ "

Luthor couldn't help but chuckle, " _So much faith in him even as your daughter is held at gunpoint before you along your son…_ "

Hinata slammed the blue fire lion on her hand against the nearest wall to her, crushing it to dust, " _My husband is far stronger than I could ever hope to be. I do not have faith in him, though, it is because I know him that I needn't pray for him._ " she stared at Slade, " _I have nothing to be afraid of, for if we are harmed, you will regret it. But if you do not get off my son, I will save you the problem of facing him by facing you myself._ "

Slade narrowed his eye and was tempted to fight her, but Luthor stopped him, "Let's leave her be. Her daughter is threatened and she doesn't seem to care, and neither does her husband after these two were taken along with that little girl. If they didn't babble so much about how they care for each other, I'd think they're really heartless."

Hinata brushed a bang behind her ear, "You have my daughter as a shield." She stated calmly, "That is all you have to keep yourself safe. You hide behind others to feel powerful, you hide behind fortresses to feel in control, and you hide behind whatever power you can find and use to use others." She stared coldly at the mercenary, "Once that is gone, what do you have to stop someone from fighting you? Or rather, what happens when someone sees that's all you have and still wants to fight?"

She walked closer and Slade let go of the little boy who glared at him and was about to fight once again, had it not been for his mother's hand on his shoulder telling him not to.

" _Let's go, Bolt. They will give us ramen and cinnamon buns like we asked them._ "

The boy complied, but not before pulling his eyelid and sticking his tongue out at the large mercenary who quirked a brow at that, "Should we really let them frolic around like that?"

"They are the bait." Luthor said through Slade's earpiece, "We need to keep them fresh for Naruto, otherwise defeating him won't be as effective when he, his family's only hope of leaving this place with the little sunflower safe, falls down before their eyes. Can you imagine how easily it'd be to use someone that broken?"

"Good way to endear yourself to him." Slade quipped.

Ghul chuckled, "As Savage would say… It's just business." He turned to Luthor, "But why didn't you inform her of her husband's current situation?"

Luthor paused and shut his eyes, "Even locked up, he isn't someone to easily give up."

XXXXXX

"You let yourself get locked up… for an autograph of Superman?" the Riddler, one of Batman's many enemies, asked with a raised brow.

Naruto leaned back on his seat at the cafeteria of the Belle Reve prison, showing his arms' tattoos, "My daughter is a big fan of his. I wanted to at least try to get it for her if I ever met the big guy."

"You're crazier than I am." The Joker said on another side of the table.

"I'm a yakuza, have a lovely beautiful wife and two wonderful kids." The blond said casually as he took some peanuts in front of him and threw them at the pile in the center of the table.

In the prisoners' hands were poker cards, and Naruto had a fairly large amount of peanuts in front of him. "You're doing fairly well for this game, you know? Does it come with the business?" the Riddler asked, having thought that the yakuza wouldn't be a match with his intellect and that he could keep the Joker in check if the clown tried to cheat. His dismay couldn't be measured when the blond started winning and making calls on their moves whenever either nemesis of the Batman tried to cheat.

"I have some good senses and an odd luck for these games." Naruto admitted, "Two of my caretakers were gamblers and heavy drinkers. I had to hide their booze and pull them out of whatever table I found them to get some learning done."

A man in a thick suit with a fishbowl helmet sighed, "Yet another harsh life…" Mr. Freeze stated while he tried to decide what to do with his cards, "It's irony at its best when you take in how the heroes all seem to possess one just like many of us do, and yet they are the ones trying to reach the sun while we remain beneath their shadows."

"It's just harsh if you let it be." Naruto commented.

"That's basically my motto." The Joker chuckled.

"Don't associate me with you." the yakuza nearly snapped like a gator but kept a cold attitude.

"Speaking of being acquaintances, good old Fishbowl over here was one of Big Daddy Icicle's chums. Why let him join?" the Joker asked while pointing to Mr. Freeze.

"I just wanted to play." The once good doctor replied, "And I believed the new king of this place would be capable of showing tolerance."

"You're lying." Naruto said as he put down his cards and sighed, tapping the table with one hand, "You worked for Icicle Sr. and I beat him up, I know random thugs that work for better reasons."

"Maybe I have them, or maybe I am curious." Mr. Freeze replied as he put his hand down too.

"Riddle me this, what is a man who is full of pride and is full of assurance but isn't full of falsehood?" The Riddler grinned as he put showed his cards, making the Joker grumble.

"A fool." Replied another voice. A man with short black hair, a goatee and mustache combo, and sharp but tired features sat with them, "You've been getting sloppy, Nigma."

The Riddler nearly crumpled his cards, "Lawton, I was hoping to have some fun with an old riddle of mine."

Floyd Lawton, also known as Deadshot, sat in front of Naruto and grabbed the cards, shuffling them, "Nigma is right." He told the blond, "You're acting like a fool being this proud, both of you." he sent Freeze half a stare before throwing Naruto a card. The simple piece of paper cut the air like a shuriken, and Lawton was smirking when he saw Naruto catch it between his fingers and hide it from view.

"What do we have to lose by trying anything?" Naruto replied with a casual shrug, "Besides, it's obvious no one in this prison is fond of me."

"Pummeling Icicle's face against the floor got you respect, but don't expect it to earn you a night you should sleep quietly." Freeze replied, grabbing his cards.

Lawton nodded, "And you're my new cellmate, so I am concerned about my beauty sleep." He threw Naruto another card, this time aimed at the neck, but the blond caught it as easily as the others, "I'll be kind by being this blunt: you already lost."

Joker chuckled, "Lawton, pal, I think you've been trying too hard to compete with Deathstroke. Copying someone's sense of humor is bad for your health." He then looked at the blond, "But he is right and kind: it's game over for you. Trust me, there's people playing this game that are far worse than I could ever be."

The Riddler chuckled, "There's always the choice of trying to escape." At that even Lawton shared a small chuckle with the other criminals, "I'd suggest finding a good way to work with the bat to get something better than this. Sure, all of Gotham must hate you for breaking into and out of Arkham, but that place beats being here."

"A nice resort between whatever parties I'm planning." The Joker quipped, "All my friends go there."

The Riddler sneered, "Don't associate me with you, clown."

"Are we going to play?" Naruto asked, tapping the table with a finger and looking bored. Each man put their own amount of peanuts and stared at each other.

"Freeze, level with me." Lawton started, "Why would you associate with him if he doesn't give a damn about what is going on?"

"Same reason you might be here, Lawton." The doctor said coldly, pun intended. "Curiosity."

"Curiosity about why I'm locked up here without any delays despite what I've done?" Naruto asked, staring from his cards to the men, "I know you have reasons to be here considering what you do and what the Justice League deals with. Me?" he chuckled, "I'd say I'm innocent but that'd be a joke too bad even for one of you."

"Ouch…" the Joker replied with a mock hurt look.

"If I'm here, I know it's not for anything I've done as a yakuza or in my arrival."

"To be fair, you did enter the asylum and nearly got the other residents loose." The Riddle replied.

Naruto put down his cards, a Royal Straight Flush, and stared at the intellectual man, "That is nothing compared to what he does." He motioned to the Joker while standing up, "And he still goes to an asylum."

"Where are you going?" Lawton asked, more than a little puzzled. No man would turn down such cards without a good reason.

"I've got a visitor." Naruto replied, pointing at the clock on the wall.

Lawton looked at his cards and then at the yakuza before throwing them down, "Curiosity?" he asked Freeze who returned to shuffling the cards.

"He beat me for a kid who was being insulted by his father, you and I know he's better than most of the people in here."

Lawton grinned, a smile the other two inmates at the table shared, "The Light never made us know they care for us. Might as well try something."

The Riddler chuckled, "It's impossible, I have tried. Even with outside help escaping this place isn't going to happen with them watching our every move." Then his eyes glinted, "But you still want to try."

"Saying no one's crazy enough to do something is like telling me to prove whoever's saying that wrong." The Joker chuckled.

After walking through some long halls, the chairman arrived to his destination.

"You're right on time." Naruto told the dark knight on the other side of the table at the interrogation room.

"I told you I had questions, Naruto. Superman was kind enough to give you his autograph." Batman replied while on the other side the team of hero protégés listened on.

"I still can't thank him enough. My little girl's a big fan of his. My wife even forced me to dress as the big guy for my little sunflower's fifth birthday party." The blond man replied with a smile at the fond memory, "My son is a fan of yours, though." He admitted, making him frown, "That worries me."

Batman decided to humor him in order to lower the yakuza's defenses, "That would worry me too."

Naruto nodded, "No offense, but while you're kind of cool… You like to scare people off. Sure, I used to be a punk as a brat but I don't want my mini-me to be like that…" he sighed, "Honestly, I know I work too much and I even try to make time for training and playing with him, but it's not easy to be a father."

Batman felt some slight sympathy considering he had his own little follower he trained and taught like his father once did with him, "They don't have to be in danger if you help us, Naruto. I want to know everything you went through with the Light and all they told you about."

Naruto leaned back, "Don't trust anyone in this place." He told the hero bluntly, "Ever since I first got here, I feel like I'm being watched, and the friendliest people I met are some of your enemies and someone that warned me I'm basically dead here."

Batman paused, as did the warden who was inwardly sweating at Naruto's answers, "I'll see what I can do to make sure you're safe."

Naruto scoffed, "You said you'd help my family." He hooked a thumb to his face, "I can take care of my own ass, and I sure as Hell will keep my wife and kids safe, but…" he looked up and sighed, "If I am here, I'd like you to look for them." He fished a small picture out of his pocket consisting of him in a black business suit with a red buttoned shirt and a black tie holding his beautiful wife in one arm while she wore a beautiful light blue kimono with a white sash and his kids on the other, Bolt hanging from his father's elbow and kicking his feet up with a large grin and a mini-Hinata with a small and slightly messy bobcut and birthmarks and eyes identical to her brother's perched on her father's shoulder.

"I will find them." Batman said taking the picture.

"I also hope you take care of that." Naruto warned the bat, saying it also as a threat, "I am trusting you on that at least."

Batman narrowed his eyes, "You're planning to get out, aren't you?"

Naruto put his hands on the back of his head, "I'm not planning anything… I know I will." He smiled, "I told you, I will find my family. I just want to make sure they can be as safe as possible."

"You didn't even contact the Light or try to negotiate with them." Batman stated coldly, "You have just put your family in more danger."

Naruto's right fist slammed the table so hard it snapped in half, but the yakuza remained calm, "Let's start this over…" Naruto said with a growl, but the bat was unimpressed and even gestured for the guards to lower their guns, "I know they are in danger and that what I'm doing is stupid, but these people from the Light are hiding behind them… I am not going to stop until I crush them. Better believe it."

"Yakuza used to be the Robin Hood of Japan, and for a moment I believed you were like them." Batman said in his ever cool and near emotionless voice, "Right now, you're more of a thug than a chairman."

"There's a fine line between my choices." Naruto told him.

"Would killing them make you feel better? Would you be able to face the fact that your family's life is given the same value as the ones you take?" Batman shot back coldly.

"I've been insulted since I was a kid and laughed it off, I used to paint graffiti just to call for attention because all the kids ignored me since their parents would pull them away whenever I tried to play with them, and I was kicked out of nearly every school I went to because of who my parents were." The chairman leaned forward, "Hatred is pretty damn stupid when it comes to close-minded idiots. But it also helps you find good people on those who can look past it… That is how I met the people that followed me in my way to become the Oyabun of all Japan, but even before that it was how I met my wife."

"She is the best thing in your life, I see. Is making her cry worth this?"

"She was once stabbed nearly to death by a yakuza from a rival family trying to get to me when we were stills in high school." Naruto replied, "She stood up against her family's traditions of making half of her clan into servants and fought her own cousin to prove to herself that she could become stronger. She was the only person to ever try to look up to me. And she, and hear this well, was the only woman to ever try to give me love when I was nothing… You got nothing to stop me from having her and my children back in my arms."

Naruto stood up, making the guards aim their guns at him yet again, "Don't." Batman stopped them yet again before putting the family picture in his utility belt, "You are set on this."

"As a yakuza I always wanted to live without regrets, but you and I know such a life is truly impossible…" he turned his head to Batman, "I know what kind of man you are… People like you are really hard to find. That's why I know you will do your best to find my family. As for me… if I don't fight these bastards from the Light then I will certainly regret it."

Batman stared at the picture, and noticed something brushing on his fingers, "Then know I will find them, just like I know you will do the right thing."

Naruto chuckled, "Maybe you're not so bad, and… sorry…" he looked to the door and put his hands up so the guards put cuffs on them, "I'll try not to snap like that so long as you don't talk bad about my family."

He also passed by someone on his way back to his cell who stopped the guards, "You shouldn't try to be such a hardass."

"Sasuke…" Naruto started, locking eyes with the fake prison guard before him whose eyes froze the other two in place, "I'm surprised you didn't kill everyone to get in here."

"I'm interested in seeing how you will get out." The fake guard replied, "Of course, I also have to keep an eye on your little girl like you did for mine."

Naruto felt tempted to break his handcuffs and punch the fake guard, but knew how bad of an idea it was with Sasuke there, "Why don't you tell Sarada where she comes from? I'm sure she'd be delighted."

The two were inches apart, glaring so hard that one could see flames burning around them, "Hinata barely put up a fight after seeing who aimed a sword to your little sunflower's neck. All I had to do was be there so she didn't fight back, and yet your son really showed to be your child when he jumped in and tried to fight back."

"You really need to stop angering me." Naruto said before smirking, "You're trying too hard to sound oh so sure that you can make me feel miserable."

"What's going on there?" Hugo Strange's voice alerted them of his presence.

"Your rent-a-cop here feels more like a man when he bullies little, innocent me." Naruto said in a mocking hurt voice, "Oh, I feel so sad."

Hugo sighed, "Naruto, return to your cell. As for you," he turned to the fake guard, "you're dismissed for the rest of the day with no pay. I heard you two talk from the other hall."

And from the ventilation system, a little bird heard a lot too, "Sasuke… Not much of a start, but what do you think, Batman?"

The dark knight on the arm mounted computer's screen pondered, "It is indeed a start, Robin. Keep an eye on everyone and be sure to remain undetected. Getting the prison's blueprints isn't of much help with the inmates that are locked in."

"Aren't you the guy that built a Bat-cave at Arkham?"

"And it still doesn't help much."

"Point." Robin then connected himself to a special link, ' _How's it going? You guys got all that?_ '

' _My side could definitely smell better._ ' Connor winced as he entered through the laundry room, ' _How're you doing, Megan? No one has noticed you, I hope._ '

A chubby black woman in a prison guard outfit inwardly giggled while keeping a stern look, ' _I'm a shapeshifter. Come on, all that I can be afraid of are the familiar faces, and now that I don't have to put up with them… Yeah, definitely an improvement._ '

' _Oh, that's so sweet that you care, Connor. But remember they also are the people you two helped lock in._ ' Rocket replied looking down at the prison from the Bio-ship's now one-way see-through floor.

' _I'm not complaining on my side- ow!_ '

' _Thanks Artemis._ ' Aqualad said by Rocket's side, ' _I knew there was a reason Batman let Kid Flash enter through the woman's change room._ '

' _Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn aren't chatting much about anything useful, so whether they've joined forces with Naruto or not is hard to tell._ '

Zatanna sighed, ' _You're better than me at the men's changing room. Ugh, these guys need to bathe five times per day…_ '

' _We're all in position according to plan. Do not hesitate to call for back-up or retreating. This is, after all, a place where we really don't want to disturb anyone if they try anything, powerless or not._ '

Naruto returned to his cell and jumped to the top bunker, with someone arching a brow below him, "Aren't you looking peppy?" Lawton said, seeing Naruto's grin before he got up.

Naruto held something for Lawton to see, making the man smirk, "I've seen that picture with the girl in your arms." Naruto started, "If you really want to see your daughter, do you think you can work with a fool?"

Lawton took the small object and grinned, "You just need to say when you want to start."

Naruto grinned, "Now."

Back in his office, Hugo Strange finally noticed something odd, "Where's that pen…?"

XXXXXX

"You got to be kidding me?" Neji's voice said in an ample meeting room back in Japan.

Inside a large traditional Japanese mansion – more like a castle, really - protected by a large army of men in suits is where we find the Namikaze Family's clan heads discussing their current topics. The room was large enough to make a party, and had many rows of comfortable sofas in the expensive red velvet carpet. On the walls portraits of departed men in suits were given the biggest respect along paintings of many clan emblems. A whirlpool and a hurricane were on both sides the main seat which looked directly at the double ebony doors that lead to the room. Behind the other seats were paintings of each clan's pride, and on each seat to represent those clans were people Naruto called friends.

In front of a deer walking in a clearing was Shikamaru, sighing besides the main seat with papers in his hand and a barely lit cigarette dangling on his lips, "Well, I can't be making this up." He told the one before him.

Neji, who was seated in front of a painting of a sunflower field, pinched the bridge of his nose, "Honestly, he really doesn't stop making reckless choices."

"Naruto-san is prone to make snap decisions, but he always does his best to make them work, Neji-san." Said a new voice on Neji's side, coming from a man with a round face, cartoonish bug-like eyes, thick fuzzy eyebrows, and a mop of black hair. He was clad in an olive green tracksuit, complete with jacket, pants, and a stylish red muffler around his neck. Behind him was a portrait of a tiger roaming around grassy fields.

A boar painting was debatable about whether it could suit the next person to speak up, "Naruto was always reckless, Lee. Even back when we were kids he'd do anything on impulse, but… I will give you points. If it weren't for him, who know what would have happened to us." Said a woman with long platinum blonde hair, green eyes, and a purple business jacket and matching skirt. She had on a white blouse and more than decent makeup. All in all, she looked like a hostess, but looks always fooled one.

Chouji crushed his empty bag of chips in front of a painting of three blue butterflies, "There was that one time he called me what he should never have, Ino. He's not very tactful, even if he's grown up."

A petite brunette standing between Neji and Lee with two hair buns on her head, a white Chinese coat and a red business skirt sighed, "He could give me a call. I heard how those Westerners are making new weapons that Japan still bans left and right. Or at least he could get me a souvenir for my fancy."

A man in a black fur coat, green buttoned shirt, and black slacks groaned while patting the head of a large white dog with floppy brown ears, "I agree with Tenten if partially. Naruto could get us to kick some ass. It's been some dull years since our last fighting. Right, Akamaru?" said the spiky haired brunet with sharp canines and red fang-shaped tattoos on his cheeks. Behind him a large white hound's painting showed the beast howling for battle. The large dog barked loudly in agreement.

Shikamaru slapped his face, "Come on, people, we're the heads of our clans not by our names only. Naruto wants us to keep this place safe while he deals with the Light in their turf. If he needs our help, he will give us a call like he has always done."

Tenten grinned, "Can't we just drop in? A prison sounds like the perfect place for me to get in and start having some fun."

"I'm afraid Naruto would still say no, even if I am sad to say that." The feral man groaned. "Stubborn as he is, he just wants to beat the Light all by himself to prove a point. He'd probably do the same if it were one of our kids."

Shikamaru blinked, "Since when did you get a brain, Kiba?"

"Shut up, you sloth!"

"Right now I wouldn't mind spending my life as a sloth, just relaxing and doing little to nothing…" Shikamaru mused and looked up at the idea of a good life as the world's laziest animal.

"Reality is our business, Shikamaru." Ino reminded the lazy right hand man, "Is it… true that Naruto faced Sasuke?"

A very uncomfortable silence filled the room until Shikamaru broke it, "Unfortunately. We saw the two fight over at the news, and it's only a matter of time before they try to settle the fight that the Uchiha clan has dragged on and on once and for all."

"Good riddance." Neji proclaimed, "That man killed his brother, betrayed us, betrayed Naruto's trust, tried to kill many people because of his clan's issues, and has brought nothing to-"

"Neji-san!" Lee's voice snapped the Hyuuga out of his rant, "You know how Naruto-san sees this topic. Besides, we have a guest."

After saying that, a little girl with short black hair, matching eyes, and red glasses walked in with a black skirt, yellow sweater vest, a white button up shirt, and a red bow. It was obvious that she was a schoolgirl, and she was Bolt's age, speaking of him, "Is… Is Bolt going to be ok? What of his mom and Himawari-chan?"

Neji closed his eyes and remained cold face, but the way his hands gripped his seat said a lot. Ino walked to the girl, kneeled down and patted her shoulder, "Sarada-chan, you know Naruto. No matter what happens, he will set things right." The little girl looked down, "What's the matter?"

"I… I know that the Seventh Chairman is strong, and that he never gives up, but… I worry about him too." she looked down, "Even if I've never seen my father, he still tries real hard to be good to me. I actually feel more at home with him and his family than hearing about my own father…"

Ino smiled warmly, "You know he and Bolt are too dumb to die. No matter what, they just won't quit."

The little girl looked down and nodded, "Yes…. Because they promised they'd play with me."

Tenten perked up, "And you know the Uzumaki bloodline, if they say something they make sure it happens."

After a while, the little girl left, making Neji sigh, "The sooner Naruto gets out, the better."

Shikamaru nodded, "We wait for him, then. Just like Ino said just now, let's have some faith on our idiot of a chairman. Now, on to the next topic, the idiots that think they have a shot at beating us because Naruto is gone. Any news on that front?"

Chouji smiled while pulling open a new BBQ flavored bag of chips, "Five hundred yakuza tried to take the southern district. Karui and I took them out on our own and reminded them why we used to be a part of the Uzumaki Clan before we took a place as a clan of this family."

Kiba ruffled Akamaru's ears, "Akamaru and I went to the docks and sunk in a few ships with weapons for a couple of families planning to fight us. The heads of those families weren't much problem later."

Ino chuckled, "I just snuck into the right hostess club and used my family's techniques to get some info out of some possible alliances. I'll give you the details later, they're not a real threat if they dare fight my husband."

"I went to visit your wife." Tenten told Shikamaru with a sour look on her face, "We made a little competition about who could take out more thugs trying to attack your brother-in-law to get an advantage… That damned fan of hers still gives her an advantage over my weapon collection."

Shikamaru groaned, "Don't talk of that thing in front of me, I still get whacked by it every time I try to argue with her."

Tenten smirked, "The fan or her little brother?" Shikamaru glared.

Neji coughed into his fist, "Anyway… Back on topic, I've been watching over the Hyuuga Dojo. There's been attempts to attack us and the trainees as well as our kids, but it's me and Lee that people have to fight."

Lee sighed tiredly, "You say fight, but it's actually very boring. None of them put up a challenge…"

Shikamaru nodded, "A few of our attackers seemed to be from the Light. Anko and Ibiki are having fun out of them…" a pregnant pause for them to shudder the thoughts off, "We should have answers soon."

Outside the room, in a large hall, Sarada sighed and moved forward, "Neji-san may have tried to hold back his own hatred, but…" she looked down and held her chest with one palm, "Bolt, Himawari, Hinata-san, Naruto-sama… Are all of you in danger because of…" she shook her head and kept walking forward, determined to ignore such sorrow.

Instead, she remembered something that she was holding, a tiny object that hung on her necklace. It was a pendant, in which a picture of her right arm held tightly by a brightly grinning Bolt and her left arm held by little Himawari who smiled shyly at the camera. It was when they finally entered middle school, and the Uzumaki Patriarch had taken the picture on his wife's insisting to commemorate it and cheer up Sarada. The man was more than happy to oblige.

Those were the people that looked past her bloodline and treated her like family. She'd never believe they could fall easily.

XXXXXX

"This guy isn't going down at all!"

A guard shouted to his friend before Belle Reve's inmates watched him get judo tossed over a now familiar blond face's shoulder, making sure that the then airborne guard's heels slammed on his comrade's head. After knocking out the two men Naruto sighed tiredly in the middle of the rows upon rows of locked cells with Lawton close behind.

"Not much of a plan." Lawton said coldly, readying himself for a fight and thankful that the pen did its work in helping him unlock his and Naruto's collars.

"I'll keep them busy." Naruto said, rolling his right shoulder, "See if you can find a way out, quickly."

"No need to tell me twice, this place doesn't like you, and I don't want to make bets in sticking with you longer than necessary." Lawton said with a small smile at the end when the blond turned to him, "We're not friends, I barely met you today. You only gave me a chance to escape; that is all. But I am taking this chance and betting on it all the way through."

"Good enough for me." Naruto told him and faced the incoming guards, "You may want to run now."

Lawton nodded and started to take his leave, only to see more guards coming his way, "So much for that…" he said while getting up his fists.

"Be honest, this is kind of fun." Naruto said with a smirk.

Lawton's face didn't change, "As a matter of fact… no, it is not." He looked around at the door he had intended to go through, "They have a storage room around. If I can get in there, I can get proper ammo and weapons as well as a chance to find a route to get out. Do you think you can clear a path for me?"

"I want to get to the warden's office." Naruto said, making Lawton nearly snap at him had the blond not said so deadly serious, "I really don't trust that guy."

"Freeze!" some snipers said from the balcony, aiming assault rifles at the inmates' heads, "Put your hands in the air where we can see them or we will-"

In a flash of golden light Naruto had appeared before the armed guard, grabbed his rifle and slammed the butt of the gun on the man's helmet. He broke through it and shook the guard's brain, which sent him to the ground in an unconscious heap. Naruto quickly threw the gun down, right at Lawton who smirked when his fingers caressed the cold and smooth feeling of a good weapon.

Cracking his knuckles the yakuza stood forward, "All right, you guys only have your life to gamble with me…" Naruto started with a cold glare, "Step up!"

The guards shook at the sight of the man. His shirt was showing that since his last fight with Sasuke, the same fight Batman watched on his screen to investigate the chairman's nemesis and their tattoos, the blond yakuza had grown. Naruto's body was all muscle and no fat, being lean yet strongly marked and quite packed with muscle beneath his naturally tanned skin.

Jumping down on the reinforcements, Naruto wasted no time to deliver the first blow even as the guards raised their riot shields. His right foot slammed right through said shield, allowing his right fist to knock the guard flat on his back into a deep slumber. A guard started shooting at the blond, only to see him roll on the ground forwards right at him. The guard kept trying to aim at the yakuza, but Naruto was faster. He got in front of the armed man, grabbed his wrist and aimed the gun up, letting him empty the bullets against the ceiling while the chairman stood up and with his grip forced the guard to kneel. A swift punch from his other hand right to the face had the guard unconscious.

"Shit, lock them in!" a guard shouted, running to the doors along his friends.

"Duck!" Naruto heard Lawton shout and did as told.

Lawton opened fire, and Naruto heard four shots that hit the gun for hire's marks as well as any other time. There were four cameras on each corner of the large hall, and all of them were turned into junk. On the wall he aimed at was a large thick metal door about a square foot big and a foot and a half thick, and behind it with a key only the guards could use to open, was a button to lock down every door on the prison or, in case of an emergency, open up all doors. Guess what button Lawton shot at with the last bullet?

"What did you-"

Naruto's question was answered by Lawton's smirk, "Your plan, you wanted a distraction."

All doors burst open and from them every inmate jumped at their chance of freedom. Lawton watched the guards reach for their remotes and radios, and opened fire once again, making Naruto whistle, "I know this one lady who'd like to meet you."

Lawton smirked, "You don't say…" he started and aimed his rifle at the back of Naruto's head.

The blond didn't turn, but could tell when someone was aiming at him, he had senses no normal person possessed, "Are you serious?" Naruto asked with his eyes closed while the rest of the inmates inched closer to him.

Lawton smirked, "It was an easy job… Get in the prison, earn your trust, and pull this trigger."

Naruto knew Lawton was about to press the trigger, and didn't move, "It was the Light, wasn't it?"

Lawton nodded, "I was their sleeper agent… All it took for wearing off this brainwashing your old friend Sasuke put me through was to have the perfect shot at you and put you down. Here we are now, you are surrounded and my aim is true."

In his office, the warden sighed in relief, "To think they'd go this far, it's certainly nothing short of terrifying how thorough they are." He stared at the screen filled with static, "I can only hope Lawton takes the smart choice."

Lawton smiled more, "Of course, there was the money and the chance to get back to my daughter… But you…"

Naruto turned around and stepped forward, starting to run. Lawton smirked and pulled the trigger, but even Naruto could tell where the bullet would go. Hugo Strange for his part grew impatient for he could not see anything from his office. There was a loud cry and blood spraying from a gunshot, and the one holding his shoulder was one of the inmates, but not Naruto. The blond was by Lawton's side, midair with his left leg stretched forward and his foot firmly planted on the inmate behind the sharpshooter.

"Maybe I am the fool for doing this." Lawton finished with a small and short chuckle.

Naruto chuckled back and stood back to back with the sharpshooter, "Isn't this thrilling?"

Lawton chuckled a bit harder, "As a matter of fact, yes it is."

Icicle Sr. was furious, "You are dead meat!" he shouted, reaching for his own collar and ripping it off. Many of the other inmates also ripped off their own collars, unsurprising the other two.

"All of you work for the Light?" Naruto asked, before staring at the guards standing beside the inmates, "Ok, all of you work for them."

Icicle Sr. grinned widely, "And we know what kind of man you are, a very stubborn and stupid one." he snapped his fingers and Brick, Mammoth and Blockbuster grabbed their collars and took them off, "Which is why we're taking you down without holding back."

Naruto boldly stepped forward, unnerving the older man, "Like I said, step up." the blond stated as he grabbed his shirt. "Because if you don't hold back, neither will I."

The blond ripped off his shirt, showing that indeed life as a father hadn't softened him, and his words of getting stronger to protect those he cared about were true. His tattoo was in full display, with the ink looking as vivid as if it were freshly painted, making the kitsune on his back look alive and the dagger in its mouth near glint in the light. Seeing all of this, the team of young heroes grew worried, but before someone could ask "Should we help him?" the chairman grabbed Lawton and jumped up to one of the balconies. The sharpshooter didn't complain despite the yelp from his surprise, considering his odds with very little ammo and too many inmates against him and the blond. But once Naruto set him on the balcony and he started to run, he had to wonder what the blond was thinking standing there in the middle.

But then he got it, they wanted him, and since Lawton knew he wasn't a priority and Naruto's initial plan of being bait, he went with it, "Don't get yourself killed!" he told the blond, "I need you to get out."

Naruto gave him a thumb up and let Lawton run off while the first row of criminals rushed at him. He made a "bring it" hand motion to get them fired up, and the first one to rush at him was Blockbuster swinging down a fist like a hammer. His right fist sunk into the massive mutated man's gut, lifting him a couple of feet off the ground with a look of pain on Blockbuster's fish face. Near instantaneously, Naruto spun around and turned his back to the large mutant, put one hand on the ground, and delivered a mule kick that threw the wall of muscle down the balcony and on top of some unlucky inmates.

More even with one of them down, nearly ten times more enemies came at him. Thinking quickly about speed Naruto bounced twice on the ball of his feet and then put up his fists in a stance a hidden bird hero recognized from his fight at Arkham. Torso leaned forward, both fists near the chin, and eyes forward. That was a typical boxing stance, but what put a brief halt to everyone was the fact that Naruto's body was lit on a blue ethereal flame. No, it wasn't fire, but some strange azure wind that coated his body and torso. And the blond had planned to use that with kickboxing.

A beam of red energy fired at the blond, showing that Professor Ojo had taken off the yellow piece of metal blocking his red 'eye' to fire at Naruto. And the blond dashed to the side like a professional boxer, leaving a trail of azure wind behind him before rushing at the long distance fighter with both fists still up. Ojo cringed and kept firing, only to see Naruto dash, weave, bob, and not once stopping his charge until he was right in front of him in the blink of an eye. No one had seen Naruto's fist move, but his left hand had left two punches on the criminal's gut with a kidney shot and an upper-cut aimed to the ribs, and just as quickly they only registered Naruto's right hand shot forwards when it was fully extended and Ojo flew backwards with blood and teeth shooting out of his mouth.

Robin gasped, ' _That's insane. Look at his guard. He never let it down._ '

Connor arched a brow, ' _What do you mean?_ '

' _All boxers and fighters know that after throwing a punch you have to quickly pull your arm back to keep your guard up, but not once did Naruto's fists seemed to leave his side. And he didn't even show any of the muscle tics typical of any fighter… This guy has mastered martial arts to the point his body attacks instantaneously without a second of hesitation._ '

Aqualad hummed, ' _So we can safely assume he's on the League's level, but where?_ '

Through Robin's eyes and their mental link, the team could see Naruto throw a punch charged a concentrated amount of his blue wind, and watched five blurs shaped like fists along his own fist leave heavy marks on the three inmates rushing at him, throwing them down like a shotgun had been fired inches from their faces.

' _I'd say pretty high, and the inmates on our side are rushing to help take him down._ ' Artemis told her friends.

Naruto could sense the villainesses rushing to give him their greetings and decided that it was time to make more of a dent on the enemy numbers for a safer escape. Mammoth himself tried to crush the blond with his right oversized arm, only to watch him duck under the strike with his right hand down for an upper-cut. What Robin noticed was that the yakuza had his hand opened for a palm strike, which nailed the mutated wall of muscle right in the jaw and sent him flying up a few feet. Just when Mammoth's feet touched the ground and he was about to fall flat on his back Naruto delivered another palm strike with his left hand, right on Mammoth's temple, and swiftly used that same hand to backhand the towering Kobra follower, just to deliver another palm strike and grip his head.

The rest of the inmates started to back away from Naruto when they watched him slam Mammoth's head on the balcony, making it creak from the force and the large criminal's weight. The guards themselves knew what would happen if they tried to shoot him, and weren't taking chances. That was why when the sound of knuckles cracking reached Naruto's ears he wasn't surprised to see Brick stepping up with a smirk on his face. The red giant of a man had bulletproof skin and was looking down at the yakuza with a smirk.

"Give me your best shot." He said, extending his arms to the side.

Naruto weaved and raced at the large mob boss. His right fist slammed on his gut with an upwards swing to make him bend over, but Brick chuckled as if he had been tickled. Seeing this, Naruto weaved to the other side and slammed his left fist on the criminal's ribcage to get some cracks, but once again Brick didn't look fazed. And then, Naruto moved faster than before to his right side, and then to his left, slamming his right fist on Brick's side with more than enough force to make him stumble.

The red man didn't feel pain but he was still shocked that the punch made him step aside. He didn't have even a fraction of a second before Naruto repeated the same motion from left to right in order to deliver a left hook into Brick's right side. This time Brick stumbled from the force, making him nearly fall. And that was when Naruto attacked, repeating the first motion once again, but this time using his right leg. Brick staggered when the blond man's shin slammed on his sturdy skin and forced him to bend over, leaving his head open. Not once letting his right foot touch the ground after the first kick, Naruto raised his foot higher and nailed a solid hit on Brick's neck, forcing him to fall face down on the floor.

Of course, Brick could take bullets, so he was starting to get up… only to come face to face with a bright azure orb inches from his face.

" _Rasengan!_ "

Naruto's cry echoed throughout the prison, and a deafening explosion of power and energy sent Brick flying twenty yards backwards against a wall supposedly strong enough to hold back Superman, and slid down after leaving a small but still visible crack on it with his body. The enormous criminal landed face down, unconscious.

Naruto returned to his ninjutsu stance and stared down at his opponents, who were more than a little speechless, "Who is next?" he asked and walked forward, making them step back, "Pray to whoever you want, I'll take you, your boss, and the Light down for what you've done to my family!"

Finally, Icicle Sr. stepped forward, armed with a very unusual gun, "You're not going to do them any good as popsicle." He said, furious that a single man was making such a dent in his and the Light's plans. But it was more than that, he also recognized Naruto's power, and he was afraid. He had to take down this man or else everything he worked for would be for nothing.

So he aimed… and his hand was frozen solid before he could shoot, "Sorry, old man…"

Icicle Sr. turned to see… Icicle Jr., his own son holding up a frozen hand at him, "Junior, what do you think you're doing?!"

The teen grinned nervously, "I think I'm paying someone back for being kind to me…"

Naruto grinned back, "That's the problems with kids, you need to teach them and show them you mean well. Trust me, I'm a father too."

Junior quickly made his way to the blond and stood by his side, putting his hands up, "I'm also putting my money on you, so let's get out."

The chairman was happy with this turn of events. It seemed that he still had his odd natural ability to befriend unlikely allies.

 **XXXXXX**

 **And that's my rap!**

 **Naruto is still someone capable of befriending people that were once enemies or wanted to harm him, and you guys finally get to see Bolt and Hinata.**

 **Before any of you say anything about the "drama" and its cheesiness, that's the point of this story. I'm going full cliché for the sake of some good laughs. Unfortunately many people read my stories and think that I can't be cheesy or hammy when that's my point in making a story for the sake of nonsensical and cheap laughs. Sorry for the rant, but sometimes those people need to leave rather than rant because they go the extra mile to insult everything they can.**

 **Anyway, the Light are assholes for how they used Himawari's sickness to threaten Naruto's wife and son into being their hostages, but we already knew they were assholes from the cartoon. Of course, Bolt, being Naruto's son, would say "fuck that noise" and try to save his mom and sister. However, he's still young and Slade Wilson/Deathstroke is also hired by the Light. I don't know when he was hired in Young Justice, but let's ignore it for the sake of an awesome fight scene.**

 **And Sarada appears too. And if you've read Naruto Gaiden then you know her life is fucked. Hell, we knew that the moment we were told she was Sasuke's daughter. I feel for her, being Kishimoto's tool for drama. But, to be honest, I see potential in her… that is sadly wasted. Naruto in the manga already is more of a father to her than Sasuke: he cared for her, tried to make her happy, and even if he kept things to himself he did it to make sure she didn't cry. In this fic Naruto puts the Terry Bogard effort of taking care of the child of his enemy because he is a good guy.**

 **In here Sarada will make minor appearances. Bolt will still try to break free even if Hinata knows it is best to wait for her husband, but she also makes sure no one messes with her little boy and girl. As for making her a badass… I was inspired by Yayoi Dojima from Ryu Ga Gotoku, a woman that married a chairman and kept a lot of pride over her shoulders without letting it weigh her down. And come on, this Hinata married Naruto and is the wife of an Oyabun, she has to have learned something while being with him, we know Naruto wouldn't want his family hurt in any way or form.**

 **And, yes, Bolt is trained by both of his parents. And I am saddened that I've given him more action than Kishimoto has. We don't know whether he has the Byakugan or not, so I say "bullocks" to that and write him having it for good fight scenes. Besides, nothing says family bonding like training your kids three hundred different ways to put someone's spleen up his throat.**

 **But, like I've said, the kid can't beat up Deathstroke unless he trains some more, and his mother would have to deal with Sasuke, who gets power-ups every five chapters while Naruto struggles entire volumes to get only a new one.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this.**

 **Next chapter tits will inevitably go up as Naruto fights his way out of Belle Reve and the heroes take action before things get out of hand.**

 **Swordslinger out!**


	4. Chapter 4

I OWN NOTHING

If you got to ask me what my favorite Yakuza/Ryu Ga Gotoku characters are, no fucking contest, matey: Akiyama, Kiryu and Majima.

 **XXXXXX**

…and stab you

"What do you hope to achieve with all of this?"

Icicle Jr. was more than speechless after the blond cleared the entire room, consisting of armed guards and dangerous supervillains, without much help. When looking at the man's back, at the kitsune tattoo, he could see strength and pride, but no arrogance. It was the pride of a man that walked taller than others for the few people he cherished.

It was that same pride that a certain doctor had seen, "Just because we played poker doesn't mean I'll trust you." Naruto told the man in the bowl. "You did follow the kid's father after all that nonsense he spat out."

"I wish to see my wife." The bald frozen man said, "I believe you know how that feels. Why is it that you'd let yourself be in here when you know of the dangers your beloved and your children are in?"

Naruto put his hands in his pants pockets and hummed. He was shirtless, had only a pair of ugly prison pants, a kid with freezing powers had just decided to aid him, and a dangerous criminal that Batman pitied was questioning his morality. Not to mention that the female inmates were rushing in from the other side, and he could sense eight meddling kids hiding around.

Icicle Jr. shouted, "Here they come, boss! You better stop the drama!" he said while freezing the entrance to their room and could hear the footsteps of the angry women rushing clearly through the ice.

The blond grinned, "Would you like to join us?" He asked like it was the most common thing in the world.

"What?!" Victor Fries had never thought of that answer.

"If you really love your wife, you're likely to not give up on her." Naruto said calmly, "Me? Well, I need some answers to some questions. I got sent to this prison without delay, and the instant I arrived to this country I had cops arresting me and knowing who I was. I thought The Light had something to do with it, and at this point it's obvious that they had some plan. That is why I want to find the warden..." and here Naruto's smile was replaced by a frown, "…and beat the answers out of him about where my wife is."

Mr. Freeze readied his own gun, his aim sure to give the blond a frosty outlook on life, "It almost pains me that you'd claim to love someone like that, and then put them in danger with such actions."

Naruto laughed, "Do you know what my wife is capable of?!" he had a large smile on his face, "I mean, I know I'm really strong and all, but…" his cheeks grew a red tint, "Man, she can sure give one Hell of a fight when she wants to. She's even helping me teach our kids how to fight, and at times when I was in danger she'd just…" his blush grew until he chuckled sheepishly, "Oh, sorry, I got carried away."

Junior stared blankly at the blond, "We're about to get mauled to death by angry women, and you're fantasizing about your wife?"

A chuckle, but it didn't come from Naruto, but from Victor. The man let out a brief laugh that ended almost as soon as it appeared, "Can I ask you something?" Freeze lifted his gun, "If I were to help you, what chance would I have to see my Nora again?"

Naruto grinned, "If you help me, I'll pay everything you want until you can hold her in your arms."

The women finally managed to get in, finding the male inmates frozen in place or, mostly, beaten up like Batman and Superman decided to use them as their punching bags. But no one was standing in the room.

Lawton for his part finally had some proper weapons, carrying an assault rifle, some grenades on a belt, and a pack of bubblegum. He was about to enjoy chewing the candy, but as soon as he exited the armory, he found his partner in crime running at him with two more criminals on his back. At first the sniper had his sights on them, lining them up on the doctor's head with some quick calculations to find the perfect angle at which a bullet could pierce the bowl and the skull.

Naruto's raised arm halted that, "You certainly know how to make a party." He said when the other three inmates stopped before him.

Junior nodded, "And the girls are coming, which will pretty much ruin this kind of party."

"It's usually the other way around." Lawton said, getting a look from Naruto.

"I'm a married man, so I'll make no comment about that."

Victor said nothing, but the slight twitch on his frown said he could have appreciated the situation more without the jokes.

"Well, I'm sure you want to know where's the warden, and where's our stuff, right?" the marksman asked Naruto.

"The Light has a storage room that keeps all weapons safe and secured for us." Victor said, "In case they ever need us to get out to do our job."

"Well, I'm hiring." Naruto said before turning to the doctor, "If you're interested, just answer a simple question: Where is my suit?"

Victor knew this from memory after being explained of what his job would be like in the prison, "In the basement, but getting there-" He couldn't get much more said after the blond punched a massive hole on the floor in which he jumped down. The other two inmates looked at each other before looking at the good doctor, "Well, it's like they say, when in Rome…" and he jumped down.

The ice controlling boy and the marksman shrugged before following the crazy blond too. They found another hole. The process repeated itself several times.

Running after them was the group of young heroes, each equally shocked, "How did he do that?" Superboy asked.

Robin pinched the bridge of his nose, "The inmates are kept in walls that can hold back Superman, but the rest of the building, with the exception of the outer walls, is pretty much a normal prison." He groaned, "I owe Batman five bucks."

"Dare I ask?" Aqualad started, jumping after the criminals.

"I bet that he was being paranoid when he said that just because the inmates were kept in didn't mean the rest of the prison shouldn't be as tightly secured."

Rocket arched a brow, "Is he ever wrong?"

"It doesn't matter, though." Robin started, "Even if they tried to dig their way out, the basement's protected by the same kind of walls and ceilings as the cells. I don't care what power Naruto has, he can't break it."

And they found the basement, with a clean triangular piece missing and leading down to the storage room. The thick wall, designed to contain a son of Krypton, had been cut like it were hot butter by something.

"He can cut it, though." Kid Flash said, taking off his goggles to try to make sure what he was seeing was real.

Wasting not a single second, the young heroes jumped in after the yakuza… and immediately found him walking through lines of containers piled one over the other, casually popping up his shirt's collar. The blond father of two gave a sigh of comfort once he was back to his clothes, but there was no sign of the others. And when the whiskered yakuza glanced at them, the group of eight grew tense. Reacting almost on instinct they got into fighting stances or brought out their weapons while Naruto sighed deeply.

"Listen…" he looked at his watch, "I don't have much time to waste. One of my plans was to be captured because I knew the ones behind my family's kidnapping would have the power and means to try to get to me here. All I have to do is meet the warden and get answers out of him, but I can tell you heroes are the stubborn kind, so…" he clicked on his watch's timer, "I'll give you a chance. Five minutes, that's as much as I'll waste playing with you kids. If you can make me fall down to my knees or on my face, I'll gladly cooperate with you, end this riot, and do things your way."

"Hello?" Megan said, aiming her hand at him, "I can move things with my mind and I will read yours, you're not being fair to yourself."

"No, we can't let Deadshot and the others get away!" Aqualad reminded them before sighing, "He's most likely acting as a distraction while his friends are after the warden."

Naruto whistled, "Damn… I should get you and Shikamaru to play chess sometime."

"Then… who gets to kick whose ass?" Artemis asked, gripping her bow tightly.

Zatanna hummed, "Even together we couldn't really beat him."

Aqualad closed his eyes shut, trying to not regret what he was going to say, "Artemis, Miss Martian, Robin, you three go after Deadshot, Freeze, and Icicle Jr. Miss Martian, you go with them to interrogate them in case there's any other plan Naruto may have under his sleeve. Zatanna, you stay with us to get answers out of him."

"Got it." The trio said before running off, though Naruto didn't make a move, which surprised his fellow blond.

"It seems I will never figure you out…" Aqualad started, drawing out his Water Bearers as sabers.

"I could see how my new friends handle themselves when in a pinch." Naruto replied with a shrug, "Besides, I can tell some of you have more than a few words for me."

"Indeed." Superboy said, cracking his knuckles, "I don't know what tricks you have, but I just want to fight you…"

"Oh? I'm now intrigued." Naruto had a small smile on his face.

Superboy returned the smile, "Truth is… I can tell you can do more than dish out the punches, you can take them. So part of me can't help but find a little… joy in the idea of facing you at your fullest."

Naruto swiped his thumb over his nose, "You do remind me of my son, always so eager to be a pro… I must say, I do like to see kids pushing themselves to be stronger instead of crying about not getting what they want. But I'll warn you." He gave them a serious look that actually surprised them, "If I happen to actually go all out, don't come crying to me if it's over too quickly."

Rocket couldn't help but shiver and smirk, "Just cut to the chase, old man."

Merely giving them a warm grin, he started the counter, "You've got five minutes, make them count."

Kid Flash was right in front of him, fist ready, "More than enough for me!" he gave a battle cry with a swing at Mach 5… only to see Naruto lean his head to the side to avoid the red and yellow clad boy's knuckles.

Wally narrowed his eyes and threw another, only for the blond to swiftly kick his knee and bending it to force the redhead to kneel. Grabbing the still stretched arm, he put the speedster in an arm lock and brought him up just in time when Rocket and Superboy approached him. Holding Wally's wrist with one hand and his elbow with the other, Naruto spun himself and the freckled boy around for his next attack. He swiftly kicked Superboy in the stomach when the clone tried to punch him, and with a mere twist he forced Wally to flip in the air and crash against Rocket.

After that demonstration, he merely reached into his business coat and pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses. He just put them on with a calm smile. But as he did so, he also avoided anyone from seeing his eyes before taking a deep breath. The heroes, still wary of his ridiculous skills, just watched the yakuza bring up one foot over his head and slam it on the ground hard enough to echo in the entire storage room like a sumo wrestler. And just like that, he changed stances, hunching over slightly with his hands down at his sides, clutching the air like claws. It was an aggressive stance, but it had the huge flaw of having no defense.

"Take your time, you only lost twenty seconds." He accentuated his words with a glowing red aura that covered his body, like a malicious shield.

Growing tired of the man's cockiness, Superboy jumped back to his feet and rushed at him, punching the blond at full force… and gasping when the yakuza took the punch. But he didn't get out unharmed, his feet skid on the ground to a stop, kicking up small clouds of dust, while some blood dripped down his lips. His smile remained in place, and the punch didn't even knock off his shades. Breathing deeply, Naruto brought up his arms and them lowered them, putting them at his sides like in a karate stance with his hands balled into fists. The red aura covering his body grew thicker while his smile widened.

Suddenly, the dust around him flew around him, turning into a small vortex to try to capture him. Zatanna off to the side said pretty much who was trying to capture him, and he replied by smirking, rearing back a single fist coated with a large amount of crimson chakra, and swung it for a single punch. The five young heroes watched in disbelief how the pure red energy grew in size and took the form of a gigantic arm. It was like living armor, some sentient energy that could shapeshift to protect and fight along him. Their shock was too much at the development, that they barely managed to see he purposely hit the ground.

The entire ground shook, making the heroes nearly lose their footing while Naruto merely advanced towards them at a slow, calm pace with his arms at his sides. But even as impressive as that was, he was still unable to affect flying opponents, which Rocket was. The girl rammed herself into his side to tackle him to the ground, using her elbow and shoulder to try to harm him and get him to kiss the dirt. She did manage to get him to step back, only to feel his strong right hand on her shoulders. The short-haired girl gasped as he effortlessly changed her trajectory and spun her around like a ragdoll before throwing her away.

Aqualad managed to catch her, stretching his arm and grunting as he was also taken with her. Shutting his eyes from the strain, he spun around, ignoring the cries of his muscles telling him to let go of the girl, and let her catch on with his plan. Smiling, Rocket propelled herself with Aqualad's help to fly straight back at Naruto, who after throwing her had both Kid Flash and Superboy right on his face. While the redhead's punches were literally lightning fast and the Boy of Steel's hit like a truck, Naruto let his body take the pain. Right hooks, left hooks, upper-cuts, jabs, he simply stood there while their punches collided.

He was being pushed back, but his feet never left the ground, until he heard a loud cry of, "Hey chump, missed me?!" from Rocket slamming her foot on his side right when Superboy put all of his weight and strength in another hook with Kid Flash doing the same with an upper-cut, getting him to fly back. However, just when they felt ready to cheer as his body sailed through the air, their smiles died when he rolled backwards and planted both feet on the ground, skidding to a complete halt with a large grin, and a rather pained groan.

"Not bad… I usually use this form to tank any blows my kids can dish out. Trust me, my little Sunflower Princess sure packs a punch when she's mad…" he wiped the blood off his lips with a thumb, "I have to use everything bad I have stored in me to take this kind of punishment, so…" he grinned widely before punching a hole in a steel container, "It's about time I rough you kids up a little."

Kid Flash groaned, "Come on, we can't let some old man that'd call his daughter Sunflower Princess kick our ass…"

Superboy growled, "Yeah, I refuse to lose to someone who'd come up with such a lame nickname."

Naruto's stance changed, his chakra cloak flaring up, "All right, I've decided I'm going to break your bones now." He said in an eerily calm voice while walking towards them slowly.

Zatanna blushed, "Hey, it's not that bad." She remembered a happy memory, slightly tainted by a fresher one, "My dad used to call me his Number 1 Assistant." She felt sorrow at the fact her father wasn't himself.

The yakuza did hear her, so he reached to the side, grabbed a crate the size of a bus, and effortlessly lifted it above his head! While the young heroes were gaping at the kind of strength they thought only Superman and heroes like him could have, the blond man slammed the crate down. As one, everyone dodged the strike while watching how the steel bent and broke from the force against the thick floor. Next, he grabbed one of the items inside, just a large wooden box filled to the brim with riot grenades.

Zatanna for her part saw a chance, " _etanoteD!_ " she cried and soon the box was gone in a powerful and loud explosion of light and pellets. The magician girl yelped when seeing the small round steel balls fly at her, and while they wouldn't kill her they were set to hurt inmates with superpowers. She thanked her lucky stars when Rocket appeared at her side with a shield for both. Superboy for his part just held up his arms and tanked the strikes with Kid Flash and Aqualad behind him.

Once the light stopped bothering their eyes and the pellets were all on the floor, they could finally see that Naruto… was gone…

Rocket was the first to voice their thoughts, "Oh son of a-"

Aqualad slapped his forehead, "He wasn't even here, how could I not see it after the asylum?!" he growled and started running towards where his other friends had gone to, "He wasn't trying to stop us, he was trying to delay us while the real him is heading towards the warden! We shouldn't have believed he was here the whole time!"

And so, the heroes ran off… while Naruto stepped out from behind a crate with a small smile and his sunglasses off, followed by a fully geared up Deadshot and Mr. Freeze. Icicle Jr. was at least happy to just be back in comfortable clothes that weren't orange.

"Man, it's about time I gave the warden a piece of my mind…" Junior said with a grin, "Always despised that guy."

"We're not here for a vendetta, just answers." Naruto said, "Just break a few bones, and if he doesn't talk I'll have some acquaintances of mine do the job."

"For a plan made on the fly, I'm afraid of how well it's going." Lawton commented, "The devil's own luck is nothing compared to yours."

"I hope you do honor our deal." Victor said, nearly sighing in relief for being back in his old suit.

"A yakuza's worth is measured on how he's capable to keep his word." Was the smiling man's reply.

XXXXXX

They quickly made their way back where they came from and started racing to the warden's office where a very horrified Dr. Hugo Strange was keeping his game face on. He knew the blond was going to pretty much shove his bald, bearded head up a hole so deeply that he would end in the devil's wine cellar. A part of him knew he had the upper hand with the information he held and how he could twist it, but he couldn't do anything else other than having the inmates block the angry father's way and pray. He was shown how futile it was when seeing a thick anti-bombing door be kicked down by the blond yakuza, who walked in followed by his new followers while adjusting his suit's collar.

"Ah, Mr. Uzumaki, here for an early appointment?" he asked with a calm smile.

Naruto sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "Listen, I know you must know Batman and all of his ways with intimidation, but trust me, he doesn't go to the limits two of my people would." He said coldly to the man, his act of a nonchalant man gone and replaced by his desire to see his family, "I knew the Light must have someone here to keep an eye on me. Now, you're going to tell me all you know or you'll regret being born."

Strange chuckled, aiming and waggling a finger at the man, "Please, mind games and torture are nothing new I know of. I've dealt with these inmates and, quite frankly, you don't really have it in you to make someone suffer. Mr. Uzumaki, you are too kind for that. Even if your acquaintances were to harm me, you wouldn't have them kill me. I may or may not know of your lovely wife, your energetic son, or your sick, little girl who wants to see her daddy again now that she's feeling bet-"

His words died in his throat when the blond man's fist sailed through the air and broke the warden's finger, making him cry to the skies, "Don't ever mention my little Sunflower Princess."

Hugo clenched his jaw and grabbed his finger, snapping it in place with a muffled groan, "Ugh, I see… you… you have your triggers… You cling to what you love so much, surely because you grew with little to truly feel something for in your life... Fascinating, the way people cling to things like that yet-"

"Yet they find ways to do more than what you think they're capable for the sake of those things, right?" spoke a charmingly smiling Riddler, stepping out from behind a bookshelf in his usual suit, "Or did you have something else in mind to say, warden?"

"What're you doing here?" the warden asked before Naruto could.

The green clad riddle lover rose a finger, "Consider this my application for a new job… in Japan. I just snuck in and, with my skills in computers, had little trouble breaking into the warden's history." He turned to the blond and showed him a laptop with a polite bow, "Honestly, I think I'd like to be paid for what I do and not live in this hole."

Naruto smirked while Junior whistled, "How does he get this kind of people to help him?"

Lawton snickered lightly, "Charisma… That guy may not seem like much of a politician, but he can draw people to him with actions rather than words."

"You're helping him out?!" roared Strange, clutching his broken finger, "What're you even thinking about? When the Light hears of this, you-"

"Dear warden, surely you've seen you lost. Those sidekicks of the League know of you, and quite frankly, the accommodations could've used a little work." He then turned to Naruto, raising a hand, "I think I can be of help to your organization if you'd let me toy with a few people…"

"Thanks, you're the second smartest guy I know of." The blond said, and made a certain lazy man he knew of sneeze.

The Riddler frowned, "A bit modest, aren't you?"

Naruto shook his head, "I wasn't talking about me. Try and beat the guy in chess, and you tell me if I'm wrong."

Batman's trickiest enemy frowned at that, "You sure are confident about him."

"He's got a high IQ of… I think it was 200…" Naruto tried to recall, even looking up at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes.

Hearing that, the green clad man blinked in surprise before smiling, "I see, I shall be glad to-" he was cut short at the sound of an explosion not far off, "Oh dear, that has Harley Quinn's name all over it." The cheery feminine laughter proved he was right.

A cruel grin spread on the warden's face, "What now? The inmates will eat you alive once they're all here. Not to mention, you wouldn't want to leave those pets of the league alone with them, would y-"

"Anko, you take it from here." Naruto said as he casually bit his thumb and put his hand on the desk.

From it appeared a woman whose outfit was making Lawton and Junior glad to be alive, though the good doctor, forever in love with his dear Nora, wasn't affected. His devotion is that deep, readers. The Riddler arched a brow, for he thought only Harley used those kinds of outfits. A short orange skirt that hugged a very curvaceous rear, a fishnet shirt that left very little to the imagination, a brown trench coat and a stylish pineapple-like purple ponytail made her stand out. She also had a massive shit-eating grin, a dango stick between her teeth, and her eyes set on Naruto.

And just to make things more bizarre, Naruto stopped a kunai aimed to his neck with his wakizashi, "Yo, boss! About time you told me to join in!"

He kept her at bay while smiling back, "I found the right guy for you to deal with. Get answers out of him any way you can about my wife and kids. I'll see what I can do here until you call me."

Turning her head around, she smirked and walked to Lawton, patting his shoulder, "Mind if I take this?" she asked while shaking her hips the whole way, taking an army knife he had on his belt, and walking to the warden. The bearded man couldn't help his smile as she showed how good she was with a blade by twirling it in her fingers.

The warden smiled, "Do your worst, I have seen everything in the b-" and his words were cut off when the knife was put in his mouth and pulled back in a swift motion, yanking out one of his teeth!

Lawton whistled in awe, "Damn, I gotta ask her to teach me that."

"Ask her out for dinner, you'd do me a favor keeping her busy." Naruto commented.

"Aw, still scared I was the one to first taste your blood when you were a wee little genin?" she cooed.

Naruto chuckled sarcastically, "See what I mean? She's all sun and rainbows."

She casually flipped him off before disappearing along Strange in a cloud of smoke, Lawton smiling slyly, "So, she's legal. Coulda fooled anyone looking like that."

"Agreed." Junior said with a smile.

"So, how do we get out? Do you have any tricks to make us warp out?" Freeze asked.

"Yeah, but what the warden said about the kids is true…" Naruto said, rubbing his head, "If I let them die here I'd kick my ass, so…"

XXXXXX

"He has to be here!" Icicle Sr. roared as he and the other inmates reached the warden's office, all armed and ready.

All of the female inmates had been smart enough to wake them up because if one man could take them out with help from a villain considered low tier, they would need the extra muscle. What they certainly didn't expect was to see a brunet hefting a staff on her shoulders and a bug-eyed green clad young man. Tenten and Lee walked side by side, the hotheaded green clad man with an arm behind his back and the brunet smiling like a little girl in Christmas.

"I can't believe he got me the M-16! I'm telling you, Lee, America has all the best weapons when it comes to firepower!" she gushed.

Lee felt himself sweat a bit in nervousness, "I see you're as… enthusiastic as ever, Tenten-san. So…" he turned to the inmates, giving them a literal flashing grin, "I'll take this side, could you take care of the ladies?"

"Always the gentleman, I see. Alright, I guess I can crack a few joints into place."

Without saying another word, the two rushed at the inmates and Lee was the first to land a hit, jumping into the air and planting his foot so deep into Brick's gut it was a wonder the red man didn't puke. Upon seeing the large man with really hard skin fly and crash through a wall with just a kick, the other criminals readied themselves for a fight.

"Let me show you the fiery passion of my youth!" Lee cheered with his flashing grin.

Tenten for her part pulled a scroll from her pockets, twirling it around and making a sickle, a kunai and a shuriken appear in the air in front of her. Twirling her staff around, she threw it in the air as she rushed the female residents of the prison. None other than Killer Frost was the one right on her face, gritting her teeth at the brunette's cheerful attitude. She was more than ready to freeze her face.

"Stand still!" she shouted and fired, the icy beam hitting a wall after Tenten flipped over it and started her attack in the weirdest way possible. With the skills and accuracy only comparable to the likes of Deathstroke or Deadshot pushed to the limit, Tenten kicked the kunai and nailed Killer Frost's pants leg to the floor, making her stumble. Grabbing her shuriken she threw the star-shaped projectile and the freezing woman's arm was nailed to the wall by her sleeve.

A far larger, muscular female inmate that had tried to break the walls of the prisons in one of the Light's many plans tried to bring down both her fists on the brunette's head to smash her to the ground. With blinding speed, Tenten caught her staff while it was still midair and rammed it into her gut, knocking her down, before grabbing the sickle and cutting a vine from one of Poison Ivy's plants. Seeing the display, the other female inmates started to step back while the redhead plant controller scoffed.

"If you need to know, I'm the one who taught the boss a thing or two about how to use weapons." She beamed with pride, hefting her staff on her shoulders before splitting it in three pieces, doing her best Billy Kane impersonation by taking a defensive stance, "Your move."

If the sound of Blockbuster getting punched so hard to have every single one of his ribs break was any indication, Lee was doing fairly well on his side too. The male prisoners tried to take him down, but it was like fighting the Flash with Batman's skills and the strength of five Banes put together. Speaking of the masked criminal, Mammoth, who had beaten the man, tried to sneak behind the caterpillar-browed young man to strike him from behind. Without even looking back, Lee brought up his fist and backhanded the massively muscular mutant so hard he crashed through the ceiling with his legs dangling down.

Knowing how royally screwed they were, Icicle Sr. cried in horror, "Where the fuck did that fox get these guys?!"

It was when the young team of heroes arrived that they found most of the inmates pacified with heavy bruises or pinned to walls with bladed weapons. Following hall after hall with beaten up thugs and crazy villains, they eventually came to find Lee and Tenten fighting Poison Ivy in a gigantic flower monster. The red haired femme fatale was already growing impatient for every time she tried to strike them the tomboy would cut down her plants with what seemed like an endless weapon supply. Lee, as per usual, was more than happy to get a little work out by obliterating her plants with punches and kicks.

Tenten panted a bit, but smiled, "I sure am glad Gai-sensei's training paid off. Otherwise, I may have lost my breath fighting all the others."

"That's right!" Lee was getting even more pumped up, "Because our goal as yakuza working in this family is to be stronger than we were before!"

"Shut up already!" Poison Ivy roared and tried to smash the two with the entire plant, attempting to crush them under its weight.

Lee smiled, "Alright, time to use at least one gate…"

The reunited team of heroes grew worried for the two odd fighters, but didn't race after them after seeing the young woman cross her arms with a smile while the green clad man squatted. Of course, they grew very concerned when seeing the plant land on them. But before they could even react to it, something that they should've gotten used by that point after working with top heroes happened. With a single upper-cut and a loud battle cry, Lee punched right through the plant, leaving a massive hole in it the size of a pool!

Poison Ivy, who had been on top of the plant, felt her jaw fall while her entire body sweated in fear. And soon she was surrounded not only by the two that pretty much made the Light's army look like toy soldiers, but the same brats that ruined her and the Injustice League's plan. Tenten sighed as her clothes got some green stains from the plant's innards, but smiled seeing her friend cheer by jumping up and down.

"He's like a kid…"

"That was a good battle, I haven't fought like that in quite a while! Well, not counting sparring with Naruto-san, but you get me, right, Tenten?!"

"You know Naruto?" Robin asked cautiously.

"Oh, there you are." Tenten said, walking to them with an axe hefted on one shoulder and her other hand holding a katana, "So you're the kids that have been causing the boss some trouble. I must say, you do look quite capable… Reminds me of the good old days when we were all kids kicking ass to get a name for ourselves…"

Seeing how she smiled fondly at the memory, Megan tried to talk to her and get a reading, "Where has he gone?"

Tenten didn't bother answering with lies, "Probably at a decent enough spot away from here. Knowing him, he'll probably try and go to a nice diner to have a talk with the newbies."

"Ah, I can't wait to have juniors again, training any newcomer is a joy!" Lee exclaimed with a beaming smile.

Artemis arched a brow, "Are these guys… for real?"

"Before I forget!" Tenten said, snapping her fingers before pulling an envelope from her pockets, "The boss wanted me to give you this. He said that you should read it after putting these guys back in their place."

"I'm really starting to think he's just messing with us and loving every second of it." Connor said.

"That's the boss for you, but if it weren't because of that, we wouldn't be working for him." Tenten commented.

Lee nodded, "He may be a prankster, but he's never cruel. He can be quite fearsome if you give him a reason, but that's the man we trust with our lives." He pumped a fist, "So please, listen to me as your senior! He will surely do his best to make you stronger because, deep down…" he gave them a pose that could only be described as weird: a flashing grin, a thumb up, and a wink, "Heroes are a flashier form of Nice Guys!"

There was wind that blew some leaves in the air, leaving everyone speechless, at least until Tenten pulled him away, "Ok, that's enough out of you. Time to go." And with a cloud of smoke, both left.

Kaldur rubbed his face with a hand, "I… I'm going to take a break. After this, let's get some coffee."

"Double?" Robin asked, "Because you'll need it when you have to explain this to the others."

"Make it triple."

XXXXXX

"We escaped a prison designed to keep in a man capable of lifting mountains… and the first thing you want us to do is this?"

Deadshot had many things to say about his new boss. He was a bizarre yet good leader, he had an odd fashion sense that was flashier than a flare signal, and he was either cocky or had the right reasons to be cocky.

"If I'm in this country, I got to know what real burgers taste like." The blond replied casually.

He and the other escapees sat at a diner in the middle of a road with the other patrons scared stiff and the staff promising not to call the cops after seeing how armed and dangerous they were. It was night, yet it was still open with their meals being cooked, and a gang of bikers that had been trying to rob the place resting face down on the floor. They had all placed their orders and were waiting them.

"And beating guys all night works up my appetite." Junior said while he and the other men finally got their drinks, all iced teas. Like one, all – minus Freeze - grabbed their glass simultaneously and drank it all down before putting down their empty glasses on the counter at the same time.

"Besides, even this greasy place beats prison food." Edward Nigma, the Riddler, commented.

"I heard greasy places add to the experience." The blond said before reaching into the nearest beaten up biker, pulling out his wallet and counting the money to pay the bill and leave a proper tip.

"You got to try the BBQs, boss." Junior cheered, rubbing his fingers as he watched his order of fries being made.

"BBQ? Is it anything like Korean?" the blond asked curiously.

"It's grilled meat with sauce." Viktor calmly replied while trying not to break his seat under his and his suit's weight.

"Sounds like something Chouji would like…" the blond commented before getting a text on his phone, "Seems Anko is doing her job well enough, but answers will take time. What about the computer, Nigma? Is there anything related to my family?"

"There are some bits and pieces, from what I have gathered they are moved from one place to the other…" the spectacled man said before casually lifting his glass to get a refill, "Schedules and locations are chosen at what could be random, but I think I've noticed a pattern."

"You can tell him where to after we finish the meal. We've already drawn attention to ourselves being here, don't need the League following us further." Lawton informed him.

"I'd worry more about what other prisoners could have escaped along us." Nigma started, "And what they could say or do to us for ruining their plans."

"Don't worry, Lee and Tenten are really strong. I train with them every day to avoid getting rusty." The blond said with a confident air around him.

"How do you trust them so much?" Viktor asked.

Naruto's reply sent chills down their spines, "Because to prove myself to Lee and many others, I had to fight them, and he was the first guy I ever lost to." He chuckled at that, "I did manage to beat him, but every time I get stronger it's like he's ready to make sure I stay that way." He then cringed at a painful memory, "Wouldn't hurt him to hold back a bit, though, last time he broke three of my ribs."

To hear someone could not only hit but actually hurt their new boss that badly made the other four relax, "Well, makes me wish what'd have happened if he found and fought the Joker."

"Probably the same that happened to these bozos." Junior hooked his thumb to the bikers before spotting a jukebox, "Hey boss, got a quarter? Let's make it a real classy burger experience."

Naruto tossed him the coin with a thumb, and Freddie Mercury's Crazy Little Thing Called Love started to play, "Ah, I know this band… Singing their songs at karaoke bars was my shining moment. Hell, that's the song Hinata and I used for our wedding…"

Mr. Freeze actually nodded his head to the beat slightly, "This song… I used to try to sing it to Nora on our anniversary… the way she laughed before I joined her after my bad singing was… magical…"

Junior smiled, "Knew you'd like it, boss."

They had a good time before discovering where they should go next.

When Batman arrived to the diner, he sighed.

He heard the story, saw the bikers chained with actual steel chains to a lamp post outside, and even saw a picture of the blond man on a wall with the other escapees at his side… At the point he was in, he was slowly but surely getting used to the fact he was following another madman. One that would give him far more migraines than a man whose only ability was to glide with a giant kite, true, but another madman nonetheless. He just needed to find a way to crack what was behind that thick head of his.

"So he got this picture by eating five pounds of meat between two buns?" Flash asked while staring at the yakuza and the other criminals in the picture with Mr. Freeze looking like he wanted to escape.

"You do so every morning." The caped crusader told the fastest man alive while analyzing the place for clues, "Now, if that letter he gave Robin is truly what he wrote in it, we may have something much bigger on our hands." He patted beneath the counter and found another envelope addressed to him and the team, "And he's having a hoot making us follow him around while keeping us at a distance to not disturb him."

"Just saying, kidnapping someone's girl when she's sick and threatening him with her well-being…" the red-clad speedster started, "Admit it, you'd do some of the things he's done."

"I would, and that's what scares me." he replied.

"Would you be marching down the streets followed by your lonesome towards one of Lex Luthor's places?" Black Canary asked, pointing at the TV on a corner of the diner.

"Who's closer to him?!" Batman asked.

Black Canary answered, "The only ones close enough and available are…"

XXXXXX

"Ugh… this suit's killing me…" Junior complained, forced by his boss to wear a simple black and white suit complete with a tie, and pulling at the neck.

"You wanted to work for me, and yakuza are as good as their image." The blond said while the street cleared around them, the five staring at a large tower owned by one of the world's richest men.

"You just love going all in guns blazing, right?" Lawton asked calmly while adjusting his gear.

"That's the fun way to do it." Naruto commented, "Make it loud, and if there's any info you can take, take it all, Nigma."

"Heh, I always wanted to mess with this man's toys… you're making a small dream of mine come true."

"Shall we knock?" Viktor asked, aiming his large ice cannon firmly at the door.

"There's enough attention already." Naruto said after checking that the streets were empty, "Everyone knows their part, right?"

Nigma nodded, "If your wife and children aren't there, at least there should be a clue to their next location."

Getting serious, Naruto nodded and watched the four leave before glaring at the building, holding a hand up towards, "Just wait for me, Hinata, Bolt, Himawari… Sorry that I acted like a goof for so long to avoid feeling angry or worried about you being here." He clenched his hand into a fist, "I'm getting you back home, wait for me a little longer."

He moved towards the building, his walk turning into a jog, then a sprint, and then he ran at it with his right fist glowing with azure chakra.

One of Luthor's many receptionists was minding her own business when, all of a sudden, an echo of broken glass blasted with the force of a tank alerted her. She looked at the man dressed in a flashy suit and swiftly returned to organizing some calls and appointments.

"I hate Mondays..." she muttered while the blond walked forward, hands in his pockets, "If you're here to meet Mr. Luthor, do know this place is guarded."

"Do the elevators have soothing music?"

"We play an instrumental version of The Girl from Ipanema."

"Good, I like that song."

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

Sorry that the chapter's shorter than the other ones, I've been busy lately. Some of you may have noticed I don't write as frequently as before, and that's because I have a job. It pays the bare minimum and it's filled with stress while I have classes with your typical immature people that think they are immortal and they can live mooching off their parents forever.

Now I apologize for the rant. Anyway, I wanted to get this one out as it was the one chapter I had closest to completion. And it's at this point in my life that it hit me that I have too much in my hands.

I'll try to write more of my other stories, but maybe it's about time I ask for betas. All this time I've worked on all my fics by myself with help from a very select few. But please halt your horses before you jump at any opportunity. I'd like the help, but managing too many people could be catastrophic. If you're interested in helping, good, I'd like that. But if I feel like I'm good on a story or someone's already helping me well enough with something, I just ask that you understand I write to have fun, not to amuse others.

On a more cheerful note, I'll try to make things more interactive between characters. I had a lot more fun writing that diner scene than making fight scenes, and I used to be a junkie of fight scenes in fics. I guess I've changed. I can try to make some things serious... but I'd rather have them be over the top to keep them amusing, hence why you'll find Naruto being nonchalant as he brutally punches someone in the face to find his wife and kids.

Swordslinger out!


End file.
